In my small community, there are many interracial couples and
families. Personally, our experience here in Solano County,
California has been well received. However, I think this is
because our community is mostly an artists community. We h ave
a large gay community, as well as traditional families. Also,
this county houses a major Air Force and Naval Base which
typically promote interracial harmony, to some degree. Don't
get me wrong though, we also have are die hard big ots and the
like that think of mixed couples (especially those with
children) as an abomination. Still, that's their problem.
All YOU can do is live your life and love whomever you want,
and be happy with the consequences; just like ever y other
aspect of your life. There will be some good times and bad;
some doubts and assurances- that's life! Nothing is a sure
bet or can offer guaranteed continuous happiness. But with
groups and associations like this one, which help s you know
that your situation is not unique; and that you are certainly
not alone, the living is a little better.

Peace be with you.

tlc

Well, my town was formed for interracial couples back during the 60s.
We have been together 4 years (married 2). We really haven't had many problems. We get a few glares every now and then. We have white, black and interracial couples as friends. There are many interracial couples and many interracial families in our town. I am not saying there is no racial tension; we hear about it once in a while. But for the most part, our community is a great place for an interracial couple to live.


Peace,
Ann

I am African-American female from the South and am married to a White male from Missouri. Surprisingly enough we have not encountered ANY problems. My family is very supportive. Our family motto has always been "if you love'em, we like'em!" I was born a nd raised in the South. I am an albino, so I have white skin, blonde kinky hair, and hazel eyes. The elementary school I attended was all Black, I was the only one with white skin. I learned early how cruel people can be. It was at that time in my life that I decided that the color of a persons's skin was not important. My only prejudices are against STUPID people. I love my husband very much, and it is because of the wonderful individual that he is, and it would not matter what color his skin is. My feelings are that LOVE and RESPECT conquers all. On January 5, we gave burth to a little girl. We will try and teach this child that there is only one race--the HUMAN RACE and to treat everyone with respect.

My finace and I both live in the Pittsburgh area and went to
college in Kentucky. We have not experienced ANY problems
socially, which I believe has a lot to do with our
perceptions. When people look at us, we don't automatically
thi nk that they are seeing us as being of different races.
However, if we took that viewpoint, I think it would be easy
to become upset about our racial differences.
Actually, since we got engaged, I've become
interested in the implicatio ns for our future children. I've
heard a lot about Project RACE and I would like to know more
about it if anyone out there has more information.
Additionally, I would like to raise our children knowing
about both their white and blac k heritages. Since I am white,
I don't know the best way to go about this. If anyone has
dealt with this in a unique way, please let me know!
Thanks,
mjh

I was reading previous postings & would love to know
where Lisa lives.

I am a white woman married to a black man for 2 years. We
live in Maryland and have not experienced too many
problems with outsiders.

However, my fath er still cannot accept the fact that I even
associate with black people.

My family and I live in Anchorage Alaska. I have been married for 6 years. Since the day we
arrived here we have been accepted with open arms. Wherever we go, we are accepted. It's
a surprise to me how different Alaska is from the lower 48. B ecause of the warm welcoming
from the residents and my housing community my wife and I decided to make Alaska
are home.

I live in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area in Minnesota.
My boyfriend is Vietnamese, I am white. Since I am a student
at the University of Minnesota, I think that the people on
campus are more open to different types of people and
relationshi ps. There is a good sized Asian population in the
area, and sometimes I see Asians giving us strange looks, but
usually I don't notice anything. I think that Minnesota, at
least the Twin Cities area, is a good place for interracial
coupl es to live.

i am a white male who was in a relationship with a black woman for 9 yrs
this relationship changed. during our time together I never encountered
a different attitute towards us. but her work in human rights made her face racism,
assault and i gnorance every day. I supported and help as well as i could
but it our relationship changed. my own mistake was being the support rather
then working by her side to help as well as i could. maybe this isn't the right
forum to discuss this b ut i find that now she is going down her own path and i
have to find mine i'm confused. I made the mistake of believing that by being here
for her i was doing my part to stop all the things she was fighting for now i find
that i want to fig ht the same things but i'm concerned that the people that she worked
with ,that i have to now try to work with will think that i'm not being true to myself
and just trying to live her life. i don't know if this is true or not but i know i
wo n't know unless i try. I know i can give alot but i'm worried ppl will question why.

james

I am presently in a interacial marriage and have a small son
I have found that people have often voiced dissaproval and indifference
to interacial relationships in OK. and that most of them don't know any
or have no knowledge of the depth need ed to withstand the predudice
and racial onslaught that exist in this community. This view is not from
one race, I find that African American are just as likely to disapprove
of interacial relationships as whites. In OKC we need more work!!!!

I am a white male married to a black woman living in Minneapolis. I think that Minneapolis is a pretty good city for interracial couples. You see many different mixes of people. I think any where you go in this country you are going to get an occasiona l stare, but here it seems to be more out of curiosity than of disgust, like I have felt elsewhere. We are both very lucky, that both of our families fully approve and are happy for us. If you can stand the cold Minneapolis is a good city for interracia l couples to live. Does anyone out there know a warmer one? I don't like the cold.

Hi! My boyfriend and I (he's a nigerian and I'm from Quebec,Canada)have been together for two years now
and I can't say that we really encounter problems...Sure there was time where
we felt we didn't get an appartment because of that fact...And there was also time when some girls (black)
called me names for being with my boyfriend! But nothing to make us reconsider being together.
Some people would think that we have more problems being a couple with two different cultures...
I don' t think so...I would rather say that the problems sometimes shows up in differents ways...
Sadly, I think that there will always be ignorants peoples BUT there will be less and less
because the world is changing, people are travelling, getting ove r their fears of the difference
The majority of couples are interracials (Italian, French, African, Jewish, Arab,...origins)
I'm hoping for the day where there won't be anything as "pure race"

I am a college student at Cazenovia college. I am originally from Buffalo NY. Unlike the rest of the post I have experienced many problems from family peers and society. I have been dating my boyfriend for three years. He is African-American and I am White. We have both experienced great pressure from are family. Of course his family does not acdept me and the same is true for my family. INhigh school it was the hardest. I was called obscene names. I do not understand why people feel the way they do? After all it is not races that marry people do! Maybe it is because I am still young that people act the way they do. I hope as I grow older my relationship will be more excepted.

I'm a 22-year-old black female university student in the Caribbean. I grew up in Bermuda, where the racial mix is about 50/50 black-white, and interracial relationships are taken in stride. I moved to Barbados, in the Caribbean, about 5 years ago, where I immediately noticed how stratified the community is. The population is about 95% black ,and the white people almost live separately from the black people. The general opinion there is not only to stick with your own race, but there is also a lot of empha sis put on "shades of Black" where generally people only hang around with, befriend, date and marry people who have a similar complexion. Last year, I started dating a white American from Minnesota. Whenever we went anywhere together, there were a lot of rude comments, with the underlying tone that I considered myself too good for a black man. I've given up trying to make my Barbadian friends understand that I love him for who he is, because they can't see past his skin colour. My family and Bermudian fri ends, on the other hand, are very supportive. I think Bermuda is a good place for interracial (black/white) couples to live and rear children (you definitely won't be alone) and Barbados is not.

I am a 29 year old black female married to a white male.
I believe there is no doubt in my mind that interacial
couples get treated indifferently.
How interacial couples choose to deal with this problem
is entirely up to them but to say s uch problems does not
exist is codswallop. I have been in my relationship for
5 years and I doubt very much if I would let some ignorant
person tell me who I should date, marry or whatever with.
I think that people who take time out to act or show
disapproval for someone else's life have obviously got
problems with their life or character and should seek
urgent counselling. I don't deliberately go out looking for
any kind of trouble but when I am faced with such foo lishness
I will always confront that person. I often wish that
people will just mind their own business and GET A LIFE,
but I supose the world we live in has all sorts. I've
said enough - love whoever you want to and if you do split
up don't let it be because you could not stand the heat of
being in an interacial relationship. PEACE TO THE WORLD.

hey,
I'm a white female almost engaged ( could be any time now!) to a black male.
we're both in our twenty's. He's a pilot so he's gone most of the time, but when
he is here and we go out, we dont experience any problems. probably because of < br>the fact that orlando is a tourist area, interracial couples are more tolerated.
every once in a while i'll see a few gawks or geers but never a word is said. the]
only stress in our relationship are my parents. they totally dont understand and will not
accept. his parents have no problem with it because as long as doug is happy, their happy.
my parents on the other hand are a total 360! they believe that the difference between the
two cultures (white and black) will seperate us an d make living together unhappy. i disagree.
but because of the fact that i continue to persue this relationship, they have to distance themselves
from me to "protect themselves". they have this idiotic notion that since they're older, "wiser", hav e been around
for more than 50 years, that they have more experience in the difference between the two cultures than i do.
and they think if they associate with us, that they're doomed to lose their jobs, friends, family etc.
it's too bad that i can't change my parents way of thinking, i've tried for the 3 years since i've known doug
and i'm about ready to break off the leash before they break it off.

one thing about racism today is that if it's not family related, it's pretty mu ch hidden and suppressed, no one
will say a word usually and you can live a fairly happy life together! but when it comes to family, that's an umbilical cord
that makes ir relationships very difficult to strive away from. i wish i knew what to do , what i could do and what i can do! cuz
if i could change their way of thinking, i'd never give up (but i've tried and failed!) or so doug says "they failed you".

but all in all, we havent encountered a single problem in our area or travelin g around.

if any one has any suggestions on my parents, please feel free to email!

thanks! kristie

Being in the USAF I have learned to become diverse among races.
I have been involved in an interracial relationship for over
two years. We have been married for eight glorious months.
The only problem we witness amongst everyone is my mother.
She respects my husband as a person, but not as a black man.
My mother understands that I love him, and I married him to
make myself happy. Her problem is that I wasn't brought up
to fall in love with black men. Little does she know, I was
smarter then that. I knew better!! We have been together for
a long time now. My mother hasn't spoken with him on the phone
yet. Nor has she ever met him. I was ashamed to bring him home,
but I was afraid of what her reaction wo uld be. She never attended
my wedding and she never has come to visit me in Idaho. In October
she will meet him for the very first time in nearly three years.
My husband and I are planning a trip to Pennsylvania. I just wish
that socie ty would except us all!! Interracial couples should not
have to deal with these problems. I praise everyone that has been
in this situation!!

Growing up in the Pacific Northwest of America, there has
been a pretty open minded opinion about the subject of Interacial
relationships. My parents tend not to hold these
same attiudes. Both of them are from the south origionally,
and have very strong views agiast it.
I myself am an African-American male 19
years of age who grew up in Seattle, so
my views were very different. The problem
with my parents, as I see it is not so much
that I did date outside my race, but the fact
that I was going agianst a set cultural norm
and values that America has put on interracial
relationships. When society stops looking at
these relationships as tabboo, and just embrace
them as a natural heal thy happening, then I think
that is when harsh feelings toward this subject
can be broken down.

I have been involved in an interracial relationship for two years now, we are engaged. At first it was very difficult
becuase she is an ABC and her parents are "traditional" so they hate me for being white even though i am really Hispanic.
After I figured out that it was not personal, things have gone perfectly. We are very much in love and Bloomington, Minnesota
is not a bad place for it. But for now I am in Beaumont, Texas for school, dad's a vet so school is free, I am glad she is up
there still. Having grown up in the south and then lived in Minnesota for 8 years, I can say that the south
has more bigotry, rednecks and ignorant folk, more violence too. It used to be whites vs. blacks, now it whites/blacks/hispanics vs. Asians which
I find to be really weird. I get funny looks because a Chinese family "adopted" me and now I am helping numerous families learn American English
and they are teaching me all about Chinese philosophy, which I already have a good grip on wit h my 5 years in Chinese Gung Fu, cooking everything and
anything. I can not believe that anyone would pass up so rich an oppurtunity to learn, especially when the people are so nice
and just got here. We all get together and have fun, nobody ev er sees skin color, to them I am full-blooded Chinese. Racism is something I think only
the weak and timid understand. Personally, I say live your life NOW, because tomorrow may never come.
"The color-blind horse must never follow a horse of d ifferent mind."
--Chinese proverb

Joe

I say that in this world of suffering at every turn we shouldn't spend so much time wondering what color someone's lover is but, why when there is plenty of food and space to live, over 10,000 people die every 5 mins. from starvation and homelessness..... ..I plan to date interacially and for you try and stop me is utterly senseless and ridiculous. I'm 19 and a black female from Houston tx and i can make up my own mind.....

I have been living in Detroit and dating interracially for
six years now. I am a black male, currently engaged in a
relationship with a white woman. I will not sit here and deny
that people do not sneer and snicker at us, because they do.
But I am very happy to notice that those dirty looks and
evil remarks are gradually lessening. The only problem is that
her family doesn't accept me. My family has no problem with
her, but I can't say the same for hers. She was brought up
only to date within her race, and when her family found out
that she was dating a black man, I guess it shocked them. Her family has never said a single word to me, and I don't think they'll plan to. But despite all the negative that goes around between interr acial relationships, nothing would EVER make me reconsider dating her. I feel that this was one of the best moves of my life. And I do believe that interracial relationships are the strongest of all loves... because each partner goes through so much hell to love that other person.

Does anybody think using the term Zebra couple amongst other
interacial couples is offensive?

Hi
I'm a 31 year old white man in Montreal. I can tell you my personal experience
that from my past relationship with a black woman which lasted 4 years,
We have had more than our share of verbal and sometimes violent abuse,
most and I str ess most from black people.racisme is not only confined to whites.
but I'm not giving up and i'ts not my equation that all black people hate white
men who date black women. I wish strength and luck to all interacial couples.
As for me I'm loo king....with wide open eyes and mind, peace.

I am a black woman married to a white man. We live in
just outside of Baltimore, Maryland. We have been married
for a little over a month, but dated for a year and a half.
I have dated men in the past outside my race, but this was my
hu sband's first interracial relationship. I had experienced
the looks, the under the breath comments, etc., but he never
had. Surprisely,especially to my husband, people tend to
live and let live in my area. Sure, we get stared at on
occa ssion but that does not bother either one of us. We live
in a racially mixed neighborhood and belong to a racially
diversified Presbyterian church. If anyone disapproves or
is uncomfortable with us being together, they obviously don't
le t us know about it. Our combined families accept each
other as one whole family and for that I am grateful.

If we ever really made a point to observe people who lurk at
us because of our differences in color, maybe we would notice
more than we do but we won't make it a point to acknowledge
ignorance.

We are a bit anxious about when we decide to move further
away from the city to the more rural areas of Maryland. We
will be looking with an open mind. I have my heart set on a
certain kind of home in a certain type of area to someday
raise children and it would heart terribly if we were denied
the home because of the color of his/my skin. Has anyone out
there experienced discrimination when buying a home? If you
have, how did you handle it? Please email me with your
experience and advice? On the bright side, maybe this won't
happen at all!

I would like to say I appreciate the comments and views of those who have responded to this issue.
Likewise, I appreciate having this forum of discussion.
I am a child of the sixties, born in the deep south (Asheville, North Carolina)in a racia lly tolerant but separate
family and social culture.
I spent 10 months and 23 days in Vietnam in 1968. There, I learned only one thing regarding the color of a persons
skin and/or ethic background, " It don't mean nothin". We all cry in pain, we all bleed red blood and that is all that matters.
I have been married 17 years to wonderful person who happened to have been born in Thialand to Chinese parents.
I have learned another lesson from this experience. Internalization of one's ow n happiness, can and does overcome all obstructions
to this issue.(i.e The Axiom is, be deavorured in ones happiness, have the strength to change what one can and the wisdom to accept
what one can not and do not ever forget good old boy forrest Gu mp's wisdom and life's axiom "STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES"
My reality lies within my relationship with my partner, friend, lover, wife and occassional mother and no where else.
How about you? let the outside in and trouble follows?

My husband and I have been married for a year and a half. I am a Black Jamaican, but I've been living in Canada for most of my life. My husband is White and Canadian. Overall, we haven't experienced any major problems. My mom is happy with our marria ge. My husband's family are ok about it, but I still have a sinking feeling that they would be happier if I was White. Now and again we'll get the stares and suprising looks from Black and White people. I would not like to be an interracial couple livi ng in the USA. My husband and I have visited Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Indiana together. One time, a bunch of Black youths sang "jungle fever" as we walked by. Let's just say, I don't feel very safe and comfortable visiting the USA with my husband. I'm not saying Canadians adore interracial couples. Many people are against it, but they won't burn a cross on your lawn. My husband's family is from Stratford. It's a small town with very few Balck people. I would not feel comfortable living there. I've visited my in-laws up there, and I'm always anxious to ocme home.

I AM A 17 YEAR OLD WHITE GIRL AND I'VE BEEN
DATING BLACK MEN FOR SIX YEARS. I DON'T
THINK THERE IS ANY THING WRONG WITH INTERACIAL
COUPLES AT ALL(OBVIOUSLY). BUT MY FAMILY THINKS OTHERWISE.
MY MOM ACTS LIKE THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH IT BUT THEN SHE THROWS IT IN MY FACE THAT I LOST
MY VIRGINITY TO A BLACK MAN. MY DAD IS MARRIED TO A HISPANIC SO HES FINE
WITH IT BUT MY GRANDPARENTS WOULD DISOWN ME MY MOTHER SAYS. IM SO CLOSE TO THEM AND THEY STILL DON'T KNOW.
I HATE RACIS M AND WANT TO JUST TELL THEM ALL TO GO TO HELL AND GET OVER IT BUT ITS NOT THAT EASY I
LOVE MY MAN(MEATBALL-02-) AND WANT THEM TO KNOW IT. -ANY SUGGESTIONS-E-MAIL ME-
ITS ALSO HARD AT SCHOOL SOME OF THE BLACK GIRLS GIVE US A HARD TIME CUZ THEY SAY IM TAKING ONE OF
THEYR BROTHERS BUT IM NOT IM JUST IN LOVE!!!!

I am a white woman who is married to a biracial man (his mother is white
and his father is black). We have been married almost a year
and have run into some problems, mostly when we were going to
school in Indiana. When we started dating, m y best friend told
me I'd never get anywhere with a black man. Another close friend
decided she did not want to be in our wedding because of our skin color.

Now that we live near a big city, we have fewer problems. I am
concerned, h owever, that the problems will come once we try to
buy a house. Since we currently rent, it has not been an issue
just yet. Does anyone have any advice along this line?

It boggles my mind that there are people in this world who can
find it in their hearts to hate you because of your skin color
or the skin color of your spouse. What is this world coming to?

I have dated interracially for only about 3 years, this is because since I am a black hispanic female, and many friends
(I no longer associate with these people) expected me to "stick to my race", therefore makeing me feel very unconfertable or as if I were doing something wrong or as if
I had some sort of psychological problem that b-cuz I was not attracted to members of my own culture or race.
My family was always supportive of my dating white men as long as I was happy.

I lived in NYC before moveing to Upstate NY to go to college, and there I encountered more problems than in any other place. But my problems were with the man I was dating at the time.
This man was so afaid of what others thought, that he was even afraid of holding my hand in public!!!! THAT can realy bring down your self-esteem!!! But I of corse got rid of him and
now I am just waiting for Mr. Right or even Mr. OK. :-))

I am a 24 year old white woman married to a 24 year old black man. We live in a nice home with our 3 year old son. We haven't had that many problems with people besides the usual stares or the "jungle fever" comments. It is hard for couples like us to be taken seriously when you turn on the television and see interracial couples being portrayed as trash. What can we do to stop the stereotypes? When can we be taken seriously?

Hi, everyone. My name is katura. I am African-American
and my wonderful fiancee is English. I must start out by
saying that I feel extremely blessed to have such a loving
person in my life no matter what race hhe is. We met at FSU a
about 3 years ago and we clicked in a good way both e
motionallly and mentally. We never ran into any problems a
t FFSU. Our friends were alternative, hippy, and from d
ifferent cultures. They all just new us and thought of us
as a gre at couple to be around. My younger sister goes to
FAMU. We have run into many problems on FAMU's campus. We
have received many, many dirty lokooks (primarily from A
frican-American males) I think they wonder why aren't t
hey good enou gh foor me to date. All in all, I would say
that college age students on cross-cultural campuses are alot
more accepting of interracial couples. I think we are both
finding that older African-Americans are confused by the
notion. Per haps they think I am trying to be something
I am not or I am abandoning the African-American race and n
not trying to build it up. Please give
feedback at electric@intersrv.com

I am so excited to find this site! I am a white woman, and almost engaged to a Senegalese man, whom I have been dating for three years. We live in New York City. I have had a very hard time with my parents, and I am ashamed of their behavior, given the gracious welcome of the Senegalese! I would love to hear from other American/Senegalese couples. I am also interested in hearing from people with the following tips: 1) areas outside of New York City but in the area where interracial couples are accept ed; 2) vacation spots where interracial couples are accepted. I can say that we went to St. Thomas and encountered hostility from both blacks and whites, but in Mexico people were wonderful, and in St. Lucia people are very tolerant. My heart goes out t o all who are being harassed... NYC is great in that respect, unless you go to the Upper East Side! I look forward to more discussions!

I am an African American woman married to a White man.
(He is of German descent). I have to say that we have not
experienced anything beyond occasional stares or muttered
comments from both blacks and whites here in the Western
suburbs of Chicago. But, we also don't really go out very much except to dinner
or church.

We have been married for five years and are very happy.
My parents accepted him without question, but his parents were
against our dating, and they did not attend our wedding which
was very painful - especially for him. I think that they
are now trying to get used to the idea, but I doubt they will
ever consider me their 'daughter-in-law'. I don't feel comfortable
going to their house t o visit, but it is important to my husband
that we go.

We live in a very racially diverse middle class suburb - Oriental,
Hispanic, White, Black, East Indian, etc. etc. I think that this
makes it easier to live a normal life like ever yone else.

I am doing research on the subject for a class, as well as for personal reasons.
I have a good friend that is an African-American female presently involved with a white man from another country.
Her relationship has truly sparked my interest in th e subject, as we both grew up in the South with rather conservative
influences especially in the area of race relations. I would like to get the opinions of any and all people that
would be willing to allow me to use your comments in my research. If you would prefer your name or comment not be used
please feel free to e-mail me anyway with an * at the beginning and the ending of your comment, so I would not incllude it
in my work. Please, specify if you wish me to omit your name or your comment.

I LIVE ON THE CENTRAL COAST OF CALIFORNIA (FOR NOW).
MY HUSBAND IS WHITE AND I'M BLACK. HE'S IN THE ARMY.
WE HAVE BEEN STATIONED IN MANY PLACES. MOSTLY ON THE EAST
COAST. WHEN WE LIVED ON THE EAST COAST(GEORGIA, NORTH CAROLINA,FLORIDA)
IT WAS VERY HARD BECAUSE WE ENCOUNTERED PREJUDICES FROM EVERY CORNER.
SINCE WE HAVE LIVED IN CALIFORNIA, WE HAVE NOT EVEN GOTTEN A STARE OR A DOUBLETAKE.
LIVING IN A MILITARY COMMUNITY HELPS, BUT WE SHOULDN'T HAVE
TO WORRY ABOUT HOW OUR KIDS WILL BE TREATED WHEN WE AREN'T AROUND!
WE WILL BE MOVING IN ANOTHER YEAR, I HOPE THE NEXT PLACE IS AS COOL
ON RACE RELATIONS AS CALIFORNIA HAS BEEN!
CHANDRA

I am a student doing a project on interracial marriage for my english course.
I was very surprised by the attitudes some people have against people
who marry out of their race. In most cases the people that marry interracially
marry for love , not out of a sort of rebellion. Psychologists have tried for years to
understand why people intermarry. I can tell you in one word:
LOVE.

I am racially Chinese, Native, and white (of English, Scottish, and Italian descent); I am culturally completely Canadian.

In my heart, where such things never change, this is how I identify myself to myself and to those who truly know me. There are shades of all three races in how I look and in every last thing I think and do.

However, to the rest of the world, my identity is constantly changing. Different eyes see (and do not see) different things. Some people demand fractio ns (half-this, quarter-that) or ask me to identify myself through my parents (my father is this-hyphen-that while my mother is that-hyphen-this). Both forms of identification cut me in more ways than one, because they're about divisions of single races an d other people. Where am I? But even more disappointing than these is the "other" category. I had not encountered this until applying for university, when they asked for my race on the forms. There's no Chinese-Native-white little box to check, and you ca n only check one, so I have to settle for that last one on the list, the only one not capitalized, the "other" with the blank line trailing behind. Which, incidently, does not have enough room to write "Chinese-Native-English-Scottish-Italian". It was sai d in the Forum that we are the face of the future and that is so empowering. Because we are here!

I am an African American woman in a relationshp
with an Asian Man. We have been together for
over two years. The attitude where live has
been pretty accepting, but I don't really
care about society. I care more about my
boyfriend 's family. They have their own
traditions of marrying only Chinese or
Cambodian. I have met them, but my
boyfriend is reluctant to tell them the
truth about the nature of our relationship.
That truely upsets me. I do have a feelin g
however that the family already knows. My family
has been more than supportive of our relationship,
and is looking forward to the day we are married.(
We are planning to get married) I just want to say
that there is nothing wrong with interracial dating
and marriage. I feel that it is two human beings just
getting together the way they do.

If anyone would like to speak futher with me, My e-
mail address is oolowu@osf1.gmu.edu. Thank you.

I am a black female and my husband is white.We have been
married for 12 years.Early in our marriage we did have
problems with other peoples attitudes,but we soon realized
that the problem was with the other people,not with us.We
decided t hat our marriage was probably better than theirs
anyway so we moved on.Yes, we still get the looks,but they
see us with our children(11yo,7yo&18mos),and we are happy,
so I guess they figure we aren't going to change.We are like
any othe r couple.Just more colorful.

I am a black female and my husband is white.We have been
married for 12 years.Early in our marriage we did have
problems with other peoples attitudes,but we soon realized
that the problem was with the other people,not with us.We
decided t hat our marriage was probably better than theirs
anyway so we moved on.Yes, we still get the looks,but they
see us with our children(11yo,7yo&18mos),and we are happy,
so I guess they figure we aren't going to change.We are like
any othe r couple.Just more colorful.

I was born and raised in a small community of approximately 2,000 predominately white people. I have never felt the need to go to distant towns so that I would have the opportunity to meet and date members of my own race, which is African-American. As s uch, most of my dating experiences have been with white men. Four years ago I married a white man I had been involved with for 6 years. The marriage didn't last due to issues unrelated to the color of our skins. We'd been subjected to stares, but nothi ng more blatant than that. I think that if you are proud of who you are, and have confidence in yourself, stares and comments while rude, actually make you feel a little sorry for that persons' ignorance. I think the attitude thing cuts across racial li nes. White people have their misconceptions, but black people also have the perception that you think you're "too good" for black men or black women. I just happen to come into contact on a daily basis at home and at work with mostly white people becaus e of where I live. It's hard enough trying to find a decent person to communicate with, why should I exclude half the population because of color?

I've been currently researching interracial relationships
and the people who result from them. I myself am not
in an interracial relationship. I am not bi- nor multiracial
but monoracial(African-American). I am curious about th is
social trend, but I also feel nervous and uncertain about
exploring this social aspect; to question it is to
ultimately question myself. I am, admittedly, hypersensitive
about this issue. I do not understand it; I am full of
questions. I get nervous when I see black and white people
romantically involved. I get anxious when I see biracial
children. I am not brave enough to honestly ask myself why.
I think that if I communicate openly with interracial
ind ividuals & couples I will overcome my apprehension, but
I have not befriended interracial individuals and/or
couples. I tend to think they may think I'm intrusive for
asking questions. I want to know how to address these issues
objec tively. Do I have the right to research this social
trend, even though I'm monoracially African-American?

I THINK THAT NO MATTER WHERE YOU LIVE THERE ARE
ALWAYS GOING TO BE THOSE WHO DISSAPPROVE, STARE,
AND MAKE COMMENTS ABOUT INTERRACIAL INDIVIDUALS
AND COUPLES. I HAVE SEEN IT PERSONALLY WHEN I
WALK IN ANY PUBLIC PLACE. IT IS A SHAME THAT PEOPLE
ARE SO CLOSE-MINDED. YOU DON'T LIKE SOMEONE FOR
WHAT THEIR RACE IS YOU LIKE THEM FOR WHO THEY
ARE AND EVERYONE SHOULD REALIZE THAT.

I live in the state of Aloha were inter-racial relations have been going on for a long-time.
It is well accepted here but you always will have ignorant folks no matter were you go.
And Hawaii has some of those also, mostly insecure males as usu al.
I have two "hapa" kids with my ex-girlfriend and they are so cute. It is hard enough finding the right person of any kind of nationality. So when you do find somebody you like, forget about what others think.
Even your own family, as they a re not living your life. You are and to heck with ignorance and insecure states of mind.
Be strong and do it ! !.

Mahalo, Eric

I am writing a paper on interracial relationships and I was glad to see so many people with open minds. However, in the general public there are more with closed minds than there are with open ones. I was on talk just the other day and I was asked my ra ce. When I responded I was clicked off. Well I don't buy into the us v them mentality because the world is getting too small to create lots of enemies. The only end result of hatred is war and war cost lives and resourses. I rather make love than to ma ke war and if it means that I would be making love to a beautiful white female I don't mind

I am interracial myself. I have always identified myself as being black. I think it is because I look more black then anything and that is what society tells me I am. I am now a student in college and see things differently. I am more thn just black . I am more than that. I have the unique opportunity to see both sides of the coin. I am in a relationship with a white woman and I never ever think anything of it. I guess since I am a student things are a little more open minded. This has prompted me to write a paper about this subject so if anyone has any references please E-mail them to me. Thank-you.

Peace,

Samuel-Shane Cooper

I am a biracial women brought up by real mother and my stepfather. My mother is white and so was my stepfather. All my life i experienced a sort of prejudice from peers, but nothing so horible as what came from my stepfather. You see, my stepfather is a very prejudice person. Strange huh? Considering he married my mother when I was three and he knew that I was a mulatto baby. All my life he called my mother a "nigger-lover" and told her that I was her little "nigger baby" not his. I was very asham ed of being half black and half white. to tell youthe truth I was more ashamed of being half black than anything. It took me until I was a freshman in college to acknowledge my true background. Even then I got called a "sell-out" because I didn't act b lack. I am 23 now and extremely proud of my heritage. I'm not ashamed anymore to tell someone when they ask yes I am half black.