My name is Joe, I'm a 16 year old African American. I've dated a 16 year old white lady for 9 months. What's
so interesting about our realtionship is that one it's interracial and second it's long distance. She lives 80 miles
north in Oklahoma , I live in Northern Texas. My mom and dad have no problem with it. Her mom is real nice.
At first we hesitated for me to see her. Then on day, I meet her. I believe she was suprised at my apperarnce.
I guess she expected some rough looking bro ther. What she saw was me, a well dressed man. After sitting
down in really talking to her on a eye to eye basis, we had not problem. She even said that I was the best boyfriend
her daughter ever had. I believe if you can, you should introduce your parents to the person. Have a little talk
at a house. Where you can talk about how you feel and other things. I have on last comment: Interracial dating
is not for everyone? You have to relize what your getting into. If you love the ot her person enough though
it should not matter. Because all realtionships are tough.

Hello! I am a senior in college, soon to graduate this June.
Well, to cut to the chase, I have a couple of friends who are
black and we have been chatting by e-mail for some time now.
When I mention that I have these friends to my parents, they
advise me not to marry any one of them. At this time in my
life, I am not ready for marriage, and I keep reminding my
parents that I am only friends at the present time. The first
one I met was in December, I did not know that she was black
until sometime in January. But that certainly did not stop
me from writing her. We have a great friendship and could
share just about anything in our lives. Not only is my friend
black, but also an older woman, about 29-30 y.o .

I just discovered this forum for interracial couples today,
May 15th.

I would agree, relationships of any form are getting diffi-
cult. I have no tolerance for racism.

hey,
I'm a white female almost engaged ( could be any time now!) to a black male.
we're both in our twenty's. He's a pilot so he's gone most of the time, but when
he is here and we go out, we dont experience any problems. probably because of < br>the fact that orlando is a tourist area, interracial couples are more tolerated.
every once in a while i'll see a few gawks or geers but never a word is said. the]
only stress in our relationship are my parents. they totally dont understand and will not
accept. his parents have no problem with it because as long as doug is happy, their happy.
my parents on the other hand are a total 360! they believe that the difference between the
two cultures (white and black) will seperate us an d make living together unhappy. i disagree.
but because of the fact that i continue to persue this relationship, they have to distance themselves
from me to "protect themselves". they have this idiotic notion that since they're older, "wiser", hav e been around
for more than 50 years, that they have more experience in the difference between the two cultures than i do.
and they think if they associate with us, that they're doomed to lose their jobs, friends, family etc.
it's too bad that i can't change my parents way of thinking, i've tried for the 3 years since i've known doug
and i'm about ready to break off the leash before they break it off.

one thing about racism today is that if it's not family related, it's pretty mu ch hidden and suppressed, no one
will say a word usually and you can live a fairly happy life together! but when it comes to family, that's an umbilical cord
that makes ir relationships very difficult to strive away from. i wish i knew what to do , what i could do and what i can do! cuz
if i could change their way of thinking, i'd never give up (but i've tried and failed!) or so doug says "they failed you".

but all in all, we havent encountered a single problem in our area or travelin g around.

if any one has any suggestions on my parents, please feel free to email!

thanks! kristie

I think that disapproving parents need to grow up and recognize that today is different from twenty years ago. It is not the same. Teenagers these days are more open minded and accepting of different ideas and concepts. I believe that all races should b e able to be together because there is nothing wrong with crosses cultural lines. I date a indian man and my parents do not apporve but I fell as though I am the only one that has to love hima nd that my parents should love me for me and not who I date f or as long as we both shall ive.

I was raised in a 99.9% white suburb of Chicago and am having extreme difficulty getting my parents to accept my black boyfriend and share some of the happiness he brings me. I truly believe they are not racist, but they will not cease to present me with all of the problems I will encounter if I continue dating him. They mention trouble with neighborhood choosing, children- the list goes on. I wonder if this is just simply a cover for thier true racial prejudices and cannot believe they hold to such ou tdated and narrow-minded societal views. Has anyone had the chance to "win over" their parents to thier views- what are the things that really made them see beyond black and white? Thank you so much for your help and ideas- Karen

I am 24 years old and have been with my husband for 6 years(married 3 years). My mother threw me out of the house when I was 18 years old. My husband, who I had been dating for 8 months, took me in to his parents home. A few days after that we had our first apartment together. When my mother found out that he was black she and the rest of the family disowned me. Through the years I have tried to talk to them and they don't want to listen when I try to tell them about my husband or son. It hurts me b ecause the love that I have for my son can never be stopped for any reason whatsoever. If only my family would see how my husband loves me, how he has been there for me. I miss my mom and dad but I will not choose them over MY family. Maybe one day the y can see us for who we are and that we will always be togher. I've only written them once with an ultimatem to be a part of my life or to forget about me. They choose to forget about me. Maybe one day before it is too late they will see the error of th eir ways and choose to love us all.

As I being born in the "Dirty South" I know and have been around
diverse couples and people most of my life. I have family that are
black and I would rather be around them then most of white friends although
I enjoy everyones company.
My family has always said that he would rather me marry a black man who
was good to me than a white man who was to treat me like dirt. I don't go out
looking for someone of the different race but I do date other people if they ask me
or I ask them.

I am a 24 year old white woman married to a 23 year old black man. We have a beautiful 3 year old son together. My family taught me to stay with "my own kind". I went to a private school that taught seperatism. So I quess my family is wondering where they had gone wrong. About six years ago, my family had found out that my husband was black, and they disowned me. I have only spoken to them once and that was at my grandfather's funeral two years ago. That was the first time they had seen their grand son. My father held my son for the first time. Mt mother had asked me when "we" were going to come over for dinner and talk. I assumed that meant my husband, our son, and myself. After a few days, I had taken my son over there. I had gone to the door and was talking to my father. My mother came out and asked me to stay for dinner. I told her I had to go get my son out of the car, she then told me that I better get on home. I hadn't had any contact with them til I decided to write a letter and tell them about my family and how I feel. I asked them to write me back if they wanted to try to work things out and be a family or if they didn't write me back with a response, I would take it that they didn't want to be a family. That their hate for blac k people was stronger than their love for me. They never wrote me back. It has been five months now. I told them that no response would mean that they didn't have a daughter anymore and that I didn't have a mother and father anymore. It has been hard , but as time goes on I get stronger. There will come a time one day that they will need me. And I will be there. A lot of people have told me that I would be crazy to do so. But I tell them that I am a much stronger person than to let that stop me. I quess I am still waiting for my parents to approve, but in reality they never will. The only thing that I can do is to make sure that I keep on moving forward, never looking back. I know my family misses me. I have seen them drive by where I live, and I have seen my father at the college I attend. So maybe there is a small ray of hope for us all yet.

Hi! I am white and Native American, and my boyfriend if Black, white, and Native American. My mother is very white culturally and very Southern and was shocked to find out that Vince is Black. Vince and I have been together for ten years now, and are g oing to be legally married soon. My parents and I have rarely talked about it for ten years!. There was a threat to disown me. I'm writing this because just last night I sent them an e-mail message, officially opening up communications again about my m arriage, and I could use some emotional support. I really don't know how they are going to respond, but I feel at peace that this is a HUGE learning experience for them (and me!) in love and understanding, and acceptance. I'd like our children we will h ave soon to know my parents. Thanks for listening, and please respond!

I am a 21 year old college student from Baltimore. I have
recently been interested in a 19 year old African-American
woman from work. We both got along very well, and there were
few times while at work that we didn't try to see each other.< br>One day before she moved out of state for college we met at
work and we gave each other a long hug. I told her I'd miss
her and to come home one weekend. She will come home for
Thanksgiving and for the entire Christmas break, and I can' t
wait to see her because I would really like to ask her out.
Our chemistry at work was obvious because other people would
come up to me and ask if we were dating. I have one problem,
though. I had a girlfriend in 8th grade that was blac k. My
parents heard of it and were disgusted. But they didn't know
I knew they were aware of my interest in her. So, they would
always say something like "that's gross" when they would see
an interracial couple on T.V. or in public, obv ious to me
that they were hoping to change my mind. Well, I don't see
her anymore, and I really think it was because I didn't want
to do something my parents would condemn.

I MADE A BIG MISTAKE LETTING HER GO!

I do not wan t that same mistake to happen this time. When
she comes back from college during the break, I really want
to see her. I don't want my parents to know right away,
though. Is this wrong of me?

Please E-Mail me for suugestions, c omments, whatever. I know
I am in control of my own life, but where do you draw the
line with your family?

Sincerely,

David J. Ryan
dryan1@tiger.towson.edu

i realize it can be hard to make your parents see things from
your point of view, but when it comes down to it you have to
make them come to terms with your relationship. because if
you don't force them to deal with it, things can become m ore
difficult. i want to commend Denise H., you have taken the
most important steps in helping your parents understand your
love for Vince. because you have made them see that he is the
man you want to spend your life with. and your willingness to
give them the time they need to deal with their reservations is
wonderful. please continue to keep the lines of communication
open for more discussion and keep the faith. you can always
turn to your friends at iia!
M AY PEACE BE UN-2 U!

Hey! Whatsup? I just wanted to add that I am a white woman
and I am currently in a two year relationship with a black
man. I believe that love sees you through any battle and as
long as you are strong enough and secure enough in your love
for somebody, skin color has no say in it. As far as my parents
go, my father does not approve. I was told that I would be
disowned. I love my father very much and I don't want to lose
him, but my love for my man is real and true. I love him with
every bit of my heart and I don't want to lose him (nor my dad).
I know that I decide my future, but I also don't want to lose
the man who gave me life and a very good, loving childhood. If
anybody has any advice or comment s on this matter please email
me at (philipsc@email.uc.edu). Thank you very much

Also, I want to give praise to all those interracial couples who
were strong enough to stick together. God will look down upon you
and happiness will fill your heart. "A BLIND MAN IS ABLE TO
FALL IN LOVE WITH ANYONE HE MEETS, WHY SHOULD SOCIETY TREAT US
ANY DIFFERENTLY JUST BECAUSE WE ARE ABLE TO SEE THROUGH OUR EYES?"

Color is only skin deep, but true love lies deep within the heart! !