I have enjoyed reading the comments posted here. I am a 22-
year-old white female dating a 26-year-old black male. We
are madly in love with each other and hope to be married in
a year or so.
We actually tried to break up shortly after we met due to
pressure from my family, but we couldn't stay away from each
other. Later we broke up for different reasons, and in the
meantime, I was in a serious relationship and he got married.
A few months ago we literally bumped into each other at a
football game. After discovering that we were both single,
we soon fell right back in love.
At first it was tough with my family, but they came around
a lot easier than I thought they would. They decided that
they couldn't help but love me, even though they're not
convinced I am making the right decision. However, they are
being very open-minded, and I appreciate that. They have
met my boyfriend, and they like him.
Darrell and I have not experien ced many obstacles socially
yet, but we haven't been together very long either. I go to
school in Muncie, IN, and he lives in Chicago. We have done
fine in both areas so far.
A few nights ago we were discussing the best places for us t o
potentially settle down. It is really sad that we may have to choose our geographical location on the basis of where we will be the most accepted. However, I would rather limit my
geographical choices than not be with him.
Since we have be en together, I can honestly say that I am the happiest that I have ever been. We are perfect for each other in so many ways that it would be stupid for us to give this up over a social issue.
Someone else said that it is hard enough to find the rig ht person to marry without limiting yourself to certain demographical characteristics, and I wholeheartedly agree with that statement.
My motto is "let people love each other". The world would be much happier and healthier if everyone could subscribe to that way of thinking.

I am a 30 year old African American female who
has been dating out of my race since 1985. I have
liked guys out of my race since 1980. The first
time I had sex, it was with a 28 year old White
guy(I was only 17 at the time, so you can imag ine
how happy my Dad was about that!) When I was a
liitle girl, I used to get teased by the other
kids(my older brother too)because we talked
"proper", which usually meant "White". I was
teased and made fun of by the black boys my age
so badly,I grew to dislike them. The white boys,
however, liked me and made me feel like a girl,
and not ugly and a outcast like the black boys
did. To this day, I will not date a black guy.
I am very happy with my life partner, wh o just
happens to be Italian American. Where we live,
we have not had any problems. As a matter of
fact, our community is mixed, and I have seen
some black guys with white girls...I wonder who
gets the most flack from people: black guys with
white girls, or black girls with white guys? I
always have known that the black race is the most
forgiving and understanding of all races, and
that the white race is the most prejudiced and
deadset about "mixing with the races". I say,
if you're happy, who cares what other people
think. I did not set out disliking black men as
relationship material, it happened over time. I
do not apologize for being like that. I am very
proud to be an African Ame rican female! And I am
very happy with my honey! My god, I want to marry
him! I used to live in Las Vegas,and when I was
there with my ex-fiance(who was also Italian-
American),I loved it out there! We never, ever
had any major problem s out there. There is a
melting pot out there!! I do find the words
"jungle fever" and "zebra" offensive, becuz when
I have our kids, they won't be animals, they'll
be humans. I have been thru it all: the stares,
the comments, I even had a idiot threaten my life
as I walked to the bus stop in the summer time
when I used to live in a very racist suburb out
here in the Midwest! Oh, well, if I had the
chance to do it all over again, I would. My life
partner has bee n with two mixed girls, so I am
his first all black girlfriend. He loves me for
me,and I'm crazy about him(and always will be)
becuz of who he is. My Dad would want me to be
with a black guy, but..... he says "if you like
him, I like him. If you don't like him, I don't
like him." As long as I am treated with respect,
he doesn't have a problem with it. Peace!

My husband and I live in Indianapolis. The majority of interracial couples here are white women with black men. My husband is white and I am a black. For the most part, our lives are the same as any young married couple. The general attitude here in the Midwest is probably one of public tolerance with private disapproval or conversation. And that is fine with us. We love each other and God loves us, and we could not ask for any more.

My husband and I have been lucky. We met in Houston. I'm an Army brat and he's a native Houstonian. I've dated out of my race quite a bit, while this is his first (and since we're married it better be his last :) ) interracial relationship. I have fou nd that I am the worry wart when it comes to racism. I'm always expecting people to be racist because I've been conditioned to expect it (I'm Black; he's White). For him, it's not even a concern. And so far, we have not experienced any real problems. Our families (even our extended families) are very warm, and have been since Day 1.

Most parts of Houston seem fine for interracial couples. We have since moved to North Dallas and the first thing that struck me about this place was that there i s a huge number of interracial couples. I've never seen so many outside of an Army base. And I've never in my life seen so many Black women and White men. I have recently found a site on the net for a support group for interracial couples and the physi cal location from the group is right around the corner from where we live.

The Plano/Dallas area seems to be a great place for mixed couples.

I would like to add, though, that the only negativity we've gotten so far has come from the B lack race, which is really disheartening.

Good luck to all. I'm so glad to find a community out there full of open minds and hearts. Please feel free to e-mail us.

Yvonne

In the larger cities such as Los Angeles, where
I live interracial unions such as ours, my wife
is African Americian, get very little notice. Judgement
is made more on economics rather than race. However
we are in search of a better pla ce to live and raise
our two small girls ages two and five, one state
that we have placed at the top of the list is Virgina
I would like to hear from a similar couple who reside
there. Economics or not it is still the South.

I am a white female, 45. I have been dating Black men for about 10 years or so. I have been in a relationship for about 2 years now and one of the hardest concepts for me to understand is his feelings about racism. I am a psychologist and yet I find my self dismissing his comments about being treated differently by store clerks and other public servants. How can I help him?

I see so many comments about Black/White dating - and comments about the intolerance of Whites, but as a white female who has dated asian men for most of her life, I have to disagree.
I have been called "embarassing", "trash" and a "snob" when meeting Asian parents. The last time I was so in love, all I wanted to do was please his parents - not a chance - it took one week for the to convince him that we were "incompatible" and our children would never have identities.
I was raised by theatrical, e ducated parents who instilled me with an appriciation for all things different. It's very disheartening to be assumed a racial snob because I'm pale

Does anyone out there know of travel destinations for interracial couples. Resorts, cruises etc... Please feel free to let me know.

Being a Black male in Winnipeg, I have seen the Black population grow ever so slowly. As I was growing up and reached that pinnacle stage of adolescence, Most of the women that I dated were white, chinese or any nationality but African-Canadian. I alw ays thought that I would marry someone Black because my mother always suggested that I do so. This was not to be. In my previous relationships with women who are not Black, I've have the good fortune to travel to Euroope, North Africa and SouthEast Asia . The overall attitude of people that we have run into has been overall positive. Interestingly enough, it is when we venture down to the United States and the East coast of Canada that we are met with the most resistence.

I am a 24 year old White lawyer who dates Black women. You can already imagine what those in my profession think of me.

Before law school, I had the unique experience of attending so-called elite events with Washington's more influential residen ts. The confused looks on the faces of the attendees upon their sighting my dark-skinned girlfriend and I together made for some interesting evenings. While in DC, the rich White people would not hide the contempt shown in their faces, though they never said anything to us. Conversely, a number of Black people threatened our lives with verbal razors. When the whole equation was put together, I always felt as though Black people were more accepting of me than Whites of her.

Move on to Madison, Wisconsin, noted for its active and progressive population. The only issues of real concern for many of these progressives affected homosexuals and women. I was saddened to see that Black people didn't enter into their agendas. Fellow law students wer e kind enough to buy me free drinks, although it is hard to drink liquids off of the suitcoat they spilled them on. In Madison, a White man with a Black women could command top dollar at a freak show.

Milwaukee is even worse than Madison becaus e it is a bit more dangerous. We have what is labeled "hypersegregation" in many pockets of Milwaukee. The suburbs are less than 1% Black, while some of the most dangerous areas are 95% Black.

I have heard from Black friends that Atlanta is a c omfortable place for interracial couples. Any thoughts on this?

I am a white female in mid fifties--thirty years ago I was very much in love with a black man--society forced us apart; we were never even involved in a dating relationship--only in longing for each other. I have never forgottn this man and now in retros pect and with the increasing number of couples making the decision to defy society and dollow their hearts, I have determined that I want to start meeting an dating black men with the hopes of finding someone I can form a long term relationship with; how can I get he message out to these men of my generation who grew up with the same taboos I had to deal with--Black men, tell me, how do I let you know I am interested in you? I have many friends, both men and women, but no one seems to take me seriously w hen I say I want to be in a relationship with a black man. Are you afraid of a woman who has finally admitted that she has been wrong for so long, and wants to follow her heart at last? I am considered attractive, financially secure, well educated and l ack no offer of dates from white men (I just can't seem to develop any interest in them, goodness knows I've tried)

There is obviously a negative racial climate for those interracial
couples out there as I am Puerto Rican/Black and my husband is
a Russian-American Jew.

Recently I have been looking for interracial romance novels and
have been only able to find one. The colour of love by Sandra Kitt.
Does anyone know of any others?

Thank you

I think that it is very hard for the children
that or mixed with black and white cuz i have friends with that
problem,and they tell me how they feel they don't know what
color race they should hang out with and stuff,they need a lot
of lo ve and care!

I am a 22 year old white Irish graduate student studying to become a marriage and
family counselor. I live with my boyfriend, who is Black, Puerto Rican,
Creole, and Native American. I happened upon this page in a search for
one of my clas ses for some kind of interracial relationship counseling.
I have done research on the problems that people in interracial relation-
ships face as an undergraduate, and now I am interesting in specializing
in this area in my professional caree r. I was interested in hearing the
comments from everyone, and was also struck by the tiny amount of resources
the net has available for us. People in interracial relationships will
face problems that no other couples will ever face, consis tantly.
It is critical that the therapists we have available to us understand this.
Marriages in an interracial context have stressors unfamiliar to other
relationships that are of the same culture, and our children must also be
seen in this special light. We are special people, because we all have
a certain degree of cultural awareness that comes from loving someone of
another culture. We have to look out for each other, and one of the ways
of doing that is making sure th at we all have somewhere to go when we get
down. Any other sugestions? I'd love to hear them!!! And if you have any
inside information about resourses, let me know!!!

Hello! I'm really glad to find a site like this where I can send my opinion about such items. In my country we don't suffer the cruel racism against other races like other places and I'm happy about that.I think it's because we ourselves are a mixture of races. Of course nowhere is the eden and you can hear some ironic or despective commentaries about the judes or corean people but never there were use of violence. I have two friends, japans' daughters whose boyfriends are latins and nobody is against tha t.
When I was younger (no very much, I'm 27) at the bus stop there were a couple with four beautiful children. He was oriental and she latin I looked at them fascinated and then I understood that the races might meet each other because the borders ar e only in our mind.
I wish to marry somebody of another race to preach with the example.
Well, I hope you are not bored with my opinion and a lot of people enjoy this association. Bye.

I am a black 37 year old professional woman who finds herself in
a loving relationship with a while 35 year old professional Scott-
ish Irish man. He and I are great together and generate a special
energy that we hope will last forever. I am the parent of a 12
year old from a divorce from a black man. I have always dated
interracially, as I was raised a young girl who travelled the US
and the world, never dealing with people on the level of the
color of their skin. I actu ally believe contrary to many black
women my age that a black man has the prerogative to choose to
have a relationship with any race of woman the same way a black
woman has. Many black women my age have a big problem with black
men dating white women. I think you can't pigeonhole every black
man into the mindset of wanting to be with a white woman to
feel more powerful as a black man. On the other end of the spectrum,
I agree that no person should intentionally pursue a rel ationship
with a person of another race for social purposes to supposedly
enhance their status in a particular group. I believe firmly
that every person should be involved with another human being
because they genuinely care for that per son and not for some
personal gain in stature. To be realistic though, any person -
whether black or white or of any affiliation - may be subject to fall into
misguided motivation to keep up with perceived ideals in their
society, and h ence may choose a partner because it gives them some
perceived means to an end. I hope I'd never involve myself with
such a person because I would like to associate myself and involve
my life with people of more depth than that.

Ge tting back to my situation. My 12 year old is very fond of
my friend. He doesn't know yet I am dating him officially and I
don't know how he would accept this. Though I think he would
accept it well because my son's inner circle of friend s is comprised
of 2 latin boys, one boy from Africa, one black American and one white
boy. He's always looked past race - perhaps because of me. I am
optimistic he can accept my new relationship. Plus his uncle is
mixed - my brother and I share the same father and his mother is
white. Does this provoke any thoughts? Can I hear from the populace?

I am an American Black male, 33 years old married to an wonderful 34 year old Irish woman. We have been happily married for 5 years and have a 18 month old son. Initial reaction to our marriage from her family was mixed (good and bad)partly because many of her family in Northern Ireland have never met anyone of color. Negative media portrayals and unfamiliarity can breed fear and ignorance. Now that everyone has met me and realized that all I want to do is make my wife happy and live happily ever aft er they all treat me with kindness and respect. I was raised to treat people how you want to be treated. Such a simple philosophy escapes many people. My wife is experiencing how racist a society the US is. Although we never have had any problems whil e we have been out in public, she often hears many racial slurs from people who "think" she feels the same way. She is now "in tune" with detecting the subtle racist/predjudice actions that she never noticed until I showed her what to observe. I real ly believe that you cannot change someones negative opinion by talking to them, a racist must go through a significant life experience to even consider changing their view of different types of people. All we can do is live our lives to the fullest , en sure those who try to deny our rights are met with swift and appropriate justice and continue to enjoy all the uniqueness that everyone on the planet has to offer.

Bryan

What a wonderful world we live in! I have
enjoyed all of your comments and even
resopnded to a few!

I am a white woman married to a black man
and we are in true need of more inter-racial
couples JUST LIKE US!!! I am tired of
having to blend in or just sticking out like
a sore thumb! I want my own peace with
couples who can relate! We live in Laguna ,
CA & welcome new friends close or far!!

I perceive the attitude in my area to be disgusted with seeing any mixed couples.
But, especially if a white woman is with a black man, she is looked upon as "white
trash." It is automatically assumed that the black man is playing her...just usin g
her for his onw needs. I'll admit that I've been in relationships which were just
that...and I didn't see it until later into the relationship--particularly the 1st
relationship I had back in the fall of 1988. He's now serving two life ter ms for
murder, for which I served as a primary witness for the state. He had repeatedly
threatened me and put a gun to my head on several occasions! THAT'S ANOTHER STORY!
BUT NOW....I'm in love with a wonderful man who is also in love with me . He is
28 and I am 50, he is black and I am white, he is currently back in jail for violating
his parole (he left the state of NJ to come to NC to visit and be with me!!!!!!!) Any
way, I am truly in love with him, I have written him letters , and OH MY GOD...my phone
bill for this month just maxed out at $2300.00....yes Two Thoursand Three Hundred Dollars!
The state of NJ and the NJ Corrections facilities are sucking the life out of families of
inmates they hold in their jails an d prisons. $3.33 per minute for each call....and yes,
I know how much the calls are costing....but I want and need to talk to and with him. I
need for him to know that I am true and committed to him. I have received more than 30
letters and poems from him since our relationship began July 19, 1996! .....there's much
more, much much more to this story (some of which my youngest son knows/has met/likes him.
but my oldest son (who just made me a grandmother on 3/29/97 with a baby gran ddaughter) does
not really know him...just his name! I believe he believes he is black...but hasn't said
anything!....like I said, there are many facets to my life and the storys connected to my
love of this black man who I will not give up f or anyone or anything!

I am 18 years old and from a small town in the midwest. Our town in entirely white. There is no minority population. Because of this it has made things extremely difficult for those of us who have tried to establish relationships with guys of another rac e. Though my parents have been very open about it, most of my friends' parents have forbidden them to see the black guys that they have been dating. This has caused many of my otherwise obedient friends to resort to sneaking around to be with the guy th at they love. People, especially the older citizens of the town, shake their heads in exasperation and mutter about lack of roots or a good Christian upbringing. In fact the biblical argument is a familiar one in my home town. In this primarily Baptist town, many say that this "is just not the way God intended for things to be."

The Mid-West is an awful place to live if your not white. I am an 18 year-old bi-racial(black/white) woman. I recently
married and moved to a town of about 10,000 in SW Iowa, with my white husband. When he and I first walk around
town, 4 people ra n their cars onto the sidewalk trying to stare at me. At high school, people called me "n----r" to my
face. Once in the lunch line, two boys, both very physically intimidating (I'm 5 ft, 2) loudly "talked" to one another
behind me: "Hey, look at t hat n~, who the h~l does she think she is, standing in front of us?" "Yeah, we should
drag her out of here and show her whose boss!" My husband and I went out to eat recently. The minute we walked
in the door, every eye in the place was on us. An d they watched us. The whole time. When I lived in Kansas, the kids in my high school would: Proclaim James Earl Ray a hero; Make KKK signs in shop and post them above doorways;
use dergatory names in my presence; collaborate "stare-downs", where the whole class would stare at me at the
same time; The boys would ask me if I had ever felt a rope around my neck, and if I would like to. My husband and
I are trying to leave the Midwest as soon as possible. However, both of our mothers are failin g right now, and it's a
bad time to leave. Interracial, minority, and mixed people and couples, please don't raise your kids here!

I have been involved interracially since the early 1970's (believe me I was extremely young :-) LOL! I have seen many different attitudes with regards to interracial unions. It seems that in the early 70's the attitudes of disaprovers was extremely blat ent. In the 1980's the air changed slightly and the tolerance seemed to be stret, you could still feel the strong hate in the air. I hate to say this, but we are now in the 90's and I see a resurgence of the hate; whether it be hidden or blatent . It is rather frightening and extremely disturbing. I must say that I live in California where you would assume because of the liberal views that the attitudes would be much more understanding and accepting. Well this is not the case. The Simpson cas e really started a resurgence of hate, perpetuated mainly by the media to send a message I believe. After over 30's years of interracial living and experiencing I truly believe that the only way to stop the hate is for interracial people, families and couples to take a stand and make sure we count as a group; no longer letting the government call our children Other in the census boxes, etc. I truly believe that by identifying ourselves with a clear cut label of being interracial, multiethnic, etc. we will gain the respect we deserve and possibly be a strong message for society as a whole.

I am a 42 year old jewish female married to a 26 year old black male. We live in Atlanta. It is hard for me to remember that my husband is supposed to be a "different race". We are both writers and mostly we talk about that and politics, or science. A tlanta is not California. Some parts of town are virulently Afrocentric intellectual, some are still old south, there are many intown neighborhoods where we are quite "in". Members of his family who lived in the 50s and 40s are not thrilled with me. Th e rest of his family is not particularly concerned. My friends all love him.

Bryant - At times I feel like an astronaut, traveling between worlds. Atlanta is a strange place when it comes to race; it tries to be a cultural melting pot and a bla ck Mecca at the same time. I go to poetry readings that are sometimes dominated by a racial hatred diguising itself as "black love." I go to them for two reasons: First, I'm a poet, and not all of my fellow black poets are biots/bigots. Second, I feel it' s good to know the minds of those who disapprove of your beliefs; it gives you a certain advantage.

I think my parents put up the biggest stink over the age difference between Alice and me - race seemed to become a non-issue with the birth of our son Jack. My advice to interracial couples in Atlanta make sure your identity and your beliefs are as strong as a spacesuit - you never know what environment you may be stepping into.

Dear Couples, Parents and curious People,

I am a 21 year old, African American, female college student in
Chicago. I have dated mostly Non-Black men. I am currently
trying to establish a romantic relationship with a Jewish White
male. He is not unaccepting of interracial couples and dating,
but he seems to be having difficulty personally involving himself with a black woman.
I have spent a lot of time helping him understand the predjudice we face when we go out.
We both enjoy activities that are heavily attended by 99% white people.
Chicago is a large city, but its attitudes are remarkably conservative.
I would just like for people to know that interracial dating is not
easy. The bond between the two people has to be strong. Neither person can be ignorant
about the institutionalized racism in this country.

Good luck to everyone. HAPPY LIVING!!!
AAG

I often wonder what people see when they look at ,y boyfriend and I when weare together. Do they see two
people perfectly content with one another,
or can they see anything past the difference
in our skin color. Our society still has subtle w
ways of showing racism. It needs to end.
Even my mother, who says she is not racist,
does not agree with my choice of dating a
black, man. This issue makes me very bitter!
I would love to hear form anyone who agrees
with me, or disagrees with me. I need more
information for a paper I am researching for
a paper I am doing at Franklin Pierce College.
Thanks!

Well, if you think you've all got it bad at times, check this out. Visit my homepage, and see a story that I, and my boyfriend, wish wasn't true.
We're currently fighting the Israeli Ministry of Interior because of their hidden racist policy.
N ow, responses:
To Kathy Shepard, I know what you're saying. I went to a Department of Defense Dependant school in Italy, where Black girls were virtually ignored in the dating field. I would have spent the better part of my adolescence sitting behin d a book on Fridays, had it not been for Italian guys. The attitude difference between on base, and off base was like hell and heaven. I had a GOOD time trapsing across southern Italian beaches, unashamed of my "got back" figure, and welcoming the darke ning rays of the sun. I'll tell you, I used to fry, and then wear blue and yellow eyeliner, and gold lipstick. It felt good to be Black there.
On base, however, guys were downright hostile, Black guys especially. A Black girl was expected to be shy and cower, and practically beg for attention....well, when you've got good language skills, the world does not revolve around American men, no matter the color ;)
To Chela:
I'm a "run of the mill" Black woman dating an Israeli Jew of Polish desce nt. Generally, I found that the Sephardic communities are a bit more understanding. They're a very VERY diverse group of Jewish people. Although some sectors of the Sephardic community are becoming more separatist in Israel, in the US, they're very acti ve as far as human rights issues, equality, etc.
To Nikki:
What is happenning to you is a precursor to worse things. Regardless of what anyone tells you, make some noise. Trust me, I know. Bigots are usually very brave when they're in groups, a nd things like that build and build until they get brave enough to do something a bit more physical. Don't wait for that. When someone says something "off color" to you, tell someone, and if that person doesn't do anything about it, tell someone that th ey're accountable to, and so on. Don't be stomped on, not in the United States.
When I encountered what I did, here, I think we thought about giving up for about 5 seconds. For a brief moment, we considered just having me pack my bags, and be shooed away like a good n*****. We thought about it, but then we decided it was better to fight, because we know what backing down means.
Every time you don't stand up for your rights, you prove to them that you are what they say you are. Nobody ever prom ised any of us a fair life who wasn't either a car salesman, or trying to get some (somethin'somethin'). Normalcy is not something to strive for when you don't feel safe in a place where you work, go to school, own property, whatever. Don't let them int imidate you. I'm rooting for you, and I'll put my signature where my mouth is.
To AAG:
You are correct, the bond has to be strong, especially when it seems like the world is against you. Jut take it slow with your freind, and the worst that cou ld come out of it is a good friendship.
Perhaps he has a problem being involved with a Black woman because of guilt. Some white males, even Jewish ones, know that sooner or later, that plantation subject is going to come up...and most are not prepare d to deal with it. Or maybe he really doesn't identify with Black culture...nto because of the differences, but because of the history. As a Jew, he's well aware of what oppression can do, and somewhere, inside of him is a mother's voice saying "You go out and find you a nice, Jewish girl", the same way that we are told to be wary of White men, and to "strengthen our race" (neglecting to say "shrink the gene-pool") by breeding with a "strong Black man".
Sounds rather Nazi, but it is very Nazi (meani ng sick in a scary way) the way people try to control the mating habits of adults by programming them as children.
Give him some time to get through his programming like you had to get through yours. Some of us are just quicker at that than others. For many, however, it can take decades to break curses that our families put on us.

Well, that's my rant and responses...Take care y'all. and don't forget to sign my guestbook when you visit the page ;)

I am curious to find out where an interacial family can move to. Currently, we are living in Raleigh, NC, one of the most racist places I have ever lived.. The attitudes of people here are basically pretty backward. I have been to Ann Arbor Michigan, an d felt very comfortable there. I am not sure what the best or optimal situation is, or if there is one at all. I will soon obtain a license as a psychotherapist, and one specialty of mine will be interracial counseling of all kinds. We need to be respe cted more as people who made a different choice, but not an immoral or abnormal choice.

One good way to tell where a good place is, for interracial couples, is where the military stations them. The Armed Forces have, since at least WWII been concerned with the safety of their members who are married to people lighter or darker than they. < br>I'm not sure if this is done on purpose, by the government, but generally, military personnel offices' staff is VERY in tune with the racial climate of many areas of the US, and around the world.
As far as I've seen, being a former Air Force bratt, and subsequently, a sailor, there are "low stress areas" in some pretty unlikely places....
Arizona is one. The area from Phoenix down to Tucson is, supposedly, less hostile to interracial couples, because there are so many. This doesn't mean that hostility doesn't exist, just that it's less likely to be expressed, because racial "purists" are a pitiful minority in an area mostly populated by Hispanics, Blacks, Asians, and Whites married to, working with, and having to function around the afore-men tioned groups.
There is the DC area, of course. We all know that from about Quantico to the Pennsylvania border is some of the most diverse ground next to LA, which is another area interracial couples are more a rule than an exception.
Military b ases themselves, and the general areas around them, are usually a safe bet for a very diverse community. Even in a very tense area, the fact that there will be interracial couples, if there is a military base around, and the fact that the military doesn' t change location just because "Jim-Bob" doesn't like "coloreds" is not going to change that.
Hope this is of some help.
~Niki

I'm an Asian male who dates WFs and I have noticed mainly good things but there a few bad ones. Just like how B/W relationships were very shunned at the start it is like that now with Asian/White relationship but possibly with less intensity as what we saw back in the 1930's. As time passes B/W relationships have become a more mainstream they become more accepted. It takes time and you have to thank those brave pioneers who follow their heart and not the will of any bigot.

I think Asian/Whi te relationships get less criticism than the B/W thing but people do stare and they do make rude comments every now and then. This is not out of hatred but out of curiosity. An AM/WF is more rare so many people don't know how to react to it.

A good example of how people can be supportive people can be...I've actually have White people set me with other White Women. How about that! A White person actually setting up an interracial date for an Asian and another White person. I think if condu ct yourself very well and you have that inner beauty then color won't have any meaning.

Anyways, if any of you out there are interested in an Asian interracial dating webpage then visit me at:

http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/4732

I'm always updating my page weekly with fresh material and would like any positive comments or stories that you may have.



By the way: Follow your hearts and not the wishes of any skin-head. Racists actually have deep personal problems that have nothing to do with race.

I have been serving in the US Army now for nearly 20 years, and have gotten quite comfortable with inter-racial
freiendships and families. My wife (who is Asian-Philippines) and I are currently on our way back to the US, small town America to atten d
University mof Wisconsin for two years. I am white and found my self to be uncomfortable in all white situations.
So much so that last year 1996, when I attend a meeting of professionals in the United States, i identified more closely with th< br>international attendees, rather than my own white american peers. I have two white chiuldren from a previous marriage, noth teenagers
now who have no real concept of prejudice and racism, execept they no it is is wrong. In America, we have the op portunity
to become a multi-racial society, a rainbow nation, but at the same time culturally we need to keep traditions alive.
My daughter who is 15, has never seen others as anything but people, and I truly believe our future will be better in t he hands or our
children, who have been brought into a world with heroes and role models from all racial, cultural, religious and sexual oriented back grounds.

My wife and I have recently started a group that meets periodically to talk and
discuss our common realities. Most of us are in or have been in interracial relationships
and/or marriages or bi-racial children. York, Pa. is like most areas in the U.S., which biogtry and double
standards prevail. Our individuals lives creates some interesting and also funny situations
which leads to much discussion.
Personally, my wife and I have experienced both acceptance and
rejection. When I first became a minister we moved to a small town in Wisconsin (Beave Dam) and
the reaction was common to people who haven't experienced anyone outside there heritage. The
town being mostly of German descent had difficulty with our marri age and our child. But, many
got to know us and realized their bigotry and some actually tried to rectify their thoughts.
We moved back to the east coast because of wanting to be close with the family. The east
coast especially in York, Pa. has tended to show their bigotry politically (smile in your face
and stab you the back)and tell of their distrust in their own small groups and families.
It has been doubly difficult for me being an Associate Pastor in a predominatly wh ite upper
middle class church. I could go on and on about our lives, but I will end the discussion by saying,
in the U.S. to which we live, it can and is fustrating at times being in an interracial relationship.
But, if you truly love one an other, you have support from others and have a spiritual center, you
can and will thrive in any climate. Good Luck to you all.

I stumbled upon this site tonight, and I cannot express the emotions that I am feeling. I cried as I read through all of the stories and experiences that others have gone through. I cried because I have finally, FINALLY, found people who can relate to me . I live in Northern California, which has a reputation for being extremely "tolerant" (I hate that word! What exactly needs to be "tolerated"?). The truth seems to be that others do not react at all to interracial couples. Unfortunately, this means that I have few people to talk to who actually understand the things that we have to think about. I am a 24 year old white college student. My fiance is a 27 year old black college student. I am getting ready to apply to transfer institutions, and one of the s chools that I am very interested in is the University of Virginia. You can probably imagine the first thought that pops into my mind. Will a black man and a white woman be okay in Virginia? I have never been to the South in my life, and I'll be the first to admit that I probably have some negative stereotypes about racism in that part of the country. However, I don't want to move all the way across the country and find out that I don't feel safe. Is there anyone out there from Virginia (particularly U. of . V. area) that can let me know the situation? I would truly appreciate the help.

Hello my name is William, I am a white male married to a black f
female. I have three kids and presently reside in Connecticut.
I was raised in a place called Alcoa Tennessee just outside of
knoxville. I am 23 years old. I have been attra cted to black women
my entire life. But because of predjudice in my family and friends
I didn't actually start dating black women untill about age 16.
Haven't dated a white women since. Even once I started dating black
women I didn't l et anyone in my family know and very few people
in my immediate area. My parents didn't find out until I was 20
years old and I told them I was getting married. The first thing my mother
said was "Can't you try a white women first." I don' t really blame
her because it was the way she was raised but now she accepts it a
lot more and she has actually became quit close to my wife. The thing \
I dislike most about those who disagree of interacial dating is how
they try to use the bible to say its wrong. Or one of my aunts once said
"You never see cows and pigs together". That was before she Knew about
me. Well last time I checked cows and pigs were two totally different
animals and their chromosomes aren't even compatable. The bible says
not mix light with darkness. Well if people would read the verse, or passge
completely they would realize it is talking about good and evil. If it
is wrong for people to speak who are of different skin color then< br>maybe its wrong if you have different color hair, eyes, or different
shaped bodies. Sounds silly doesn't it well so is the fact that
because skin color is different then we shouldn't talk. Well God bless
you all and I thank you for cros sing the racial barrier and proving there
is nothing wrong with it.

Re: Darrel
Norther Virginia is FULL of military bases. There ore lots of interracial couples, people, and clubs. U of V, however, has had some racil clashes in recent years. You are, however, more likely to encounter problems with other Black peopl e, than you are with Whites.
Generally, the University setting is more open-minded, but you almost certainly will have people who will call you a sell-out for dating anybody not identifiable as Black. These are people I find easy to ignore, and I sug gest you do the same.
~Niki

Even here I am asked to define myself as something, I simply don't wish to. I could say that my mother is mixed, and from Jamaica, My father is from Barbados, but originally his family came from Guyana. My sister is milk white, as I am chocolate brown a nd her children, also white, are brown haired with grey eyes, blond with blue eyes and brown haired with olive eyes. I am an Italian citizen as well as Jamaican, she is Italian, Canadian and Jamaican. I could go on and on but that is not the point. The point is that I have so many cultures and races mixed inside me that I don't think I belong to any. So why must I identify with any, I am a citizen of the world and proud of it, stop asking people what they are, and start getting to know who they are.
I look black, so I guess I am black, I don't act like a typical black, so I guess I am weird.

I am presently living in Austin, Texas. Not an uncomfortable place to raise your children if you are an interracial couple. But, I have the advantage/disadvantage of looking Caucasian. The advantage is I am not a target for blatant racism toward me. Disad vantage people talk in front of me, until I set them straight on their stupidity. Here, it is pretty even Racist of all races, and great people who are color blind. I think this is the same as many places in the USA.

But now, I am leaving here t o move to Vienna Austria. Vienna is a place of live and let live, a real melting pot and place of racial harmony.

I am marrying an Austrian man, who also happens to be of the Sinti Culture (Gypsy) for the unknowing. And if you think you know som ething about racism, read a bit about the persecution of this culture and the ignorance associated with it..no they are not all fortune tellers or live in roving caravans.

But, now I face a new prejudice. It's not my multiracial make or my German heritage they object to. It's the fact I am not of their culture. They have more or less disowned my fiancee, something that I know breaks his heart. So here I go again(seems like I have been doing this most of my live *smile*), after all being multiraci al makes you an expert on getting people to like you for you and educating bigots. And if this fails, I hope our baby ( If I am lucky enough to have a new world citizen)will bridge the gap.

I have vistid this site twice now, and both times I have been struck by the number of people who are discussing areas of the country suitable for interracial habitation. Why are we so worried about it? There is nothing wrong with being an interracial co uple. I refuse to let other peoples attitudes limit my life. My husabnd, myself, and our son are living in Atlanta, but we are getting ready to move to Albany,Ga - which is almost Florida, almost Alabama. We made this decsion because it was the best th ing for our family, irregardless of community attitudes.

I feel that the attitudes toward interracial couples vary depending on the location or where you reside in the U.S.A.
There are still areas (primarily in the Southern U.S.) which are less accepting, on behalf of both races (Black & White).
I how ever, feel that the South has advanced in its acceptance as a whole, simply because the number of interracial couples has
increased within all age groups. I have spoken with numerous people who at some point in their lives had and or still have stron g feelings for some-
one of a different race and would like or would have liked to date outside of their race, but because of their predispostion of how their families,
friends reactions, neglect to follow their hearts. As a black female currentl y in an interracial relationship, which I might add
has been accepted by both sides and has been the most wonderful thing to happen in my life, I find it quite troubling to know that "ignorance"
is depriving so many people of happiness. Skin is so very superficial, if removed one would find that we are all the same on
the inside. I have learned that in my travels that there are places where we aren't even looked upon as "colors" and hopefully
someday this "positive" attitude will be s pread all around the world.

I am a 40yo wm and I was married to a filapina woman for 15 years and now I date women of all races but primarily black women. I guess you can say that I look for the beauty of a woman and not the skin color (although that can enhance a womans beauty as w ell) I have found that while a lot of people are dissaproving its usually because they dont know you. After getting to know you then those disapprovals disappear altogeather. Well at least in most cases... there are those who will disapprove no matter wha t. I live in the Dallas/Ft Worth area and whenever I see an interracial couple I try to smile and be friendly. My family has never disapproved who I date or marry. My life is my own to live as I see fit. Oh yes, one more thing, I am single and free so wel l dont hesitate to email me thanks...

A question: Does anyone have opinions or experience regarding living in the New Orleans area? For example issues of safety, attitudes, or preferable neighborhoods?

Any comments would be appreciated since we are considering a move...Pls. reply to the site or send info direct to my e-mail.

I am a 27 year old black, college educated woman. I have been involved with my boyfriend for about 3 years and 6 months now. He is white. We met in college through friends and we lived in the same dorm. When we started dating, we thought of nothing excep t our feeling for each other. My parents were happy that I was dating but his parents didn't approve at all. His father wouldn't even speak to me. His mother would speak to me but I never felt absolutely comfortable. I was invited to visit but family out ings were another matter. His parents explained to him that they were worried that his relationship with me would have a negative effect on his future. Needless to say this hurt but they did have a point. Due to the ignorance of others, this could very we ll be true. So far we've only encountered staring (by both whites and blacks), less then courteous restaurant and hotel service. Thank God that's all. Time has passed and his parents are very accepting of us but his father still doesn't agree with our bei ng together. I am included in family gatherings and treated equally. His older sister married a man from Pakistan who encountered some of the same treatment in the beginning. Unforunately, he doesn't participate in all family outings due to events that tr anspired early in the relationship that he still hasn't come to terms with (I don't blame him). Anyway, it took some time for things to cool down family wise for him. He was hurt by the fact that he was raised to believe that we are all created equal and should treat all people no matter what color they are equally. Then, when he started dated me, he found what their true feeling were. This upset him and hurt him a great deal. We never broke up over this though it was hard to endure. Our love for each oth er brought us through that maelstrom. We are planning to get married someday. Engagement could come anytime soon. We love each other and want to also have children someday. We feel that it's unfortunate that the world is so full of ignorance and hate. We are constantly reminded of this when we go looking for a place to live. We pay closer attention to demographics than a same race couple would need to. We are looking for a house and have walked away from a couple of areas where we didn't get good vibes. W e're not afraid, just cautious and don't want to run into any trouble. Better to be safe than sorry. Anyway, for those of you who are having trouble with your parents understanding your relationship, just give it time. THey may come around someday or mayb e they won't but as long as you are happy you go on with your life. SUre, it may be difficult but you have to live with that person, not your parents. If we went through life trying to constantly make our parents happy, we'd have no life at all. Remember they will always love you even if they don't show it. Do what you believe is right. The choices you make will influence your life and how you live it. Having parents who are less than understanding can really hurt because their love is strong. You know yo ur parents better than anyone so you'll know how to deal with them. If they never understand, make sure they still accept you and your love for them. A little praying never hurt anyone. Good luck!

My wife and I have been married for about 2 years. I am white and she is black. I am currently stationed overseas in Japan. We got married in Beaufort, South Carolina and live in Savannah, Georgia for about a year. Just a little word to other interraci al couples, if you're looking for a new residence, I advise not to reside in Savannah. There's much segregation there, not blatant signs or anything like that but the races don't mix much there. The white population goes certain places and the blacks go certain places but there very seldom is it the same place. I think I can speak for most interracial couples when I say that the general attitude from society towards "us" is not usually one of warmth and understanding. But to be perfectly honest, to ma ke an interracial relationship work, the only people that you can count on is yourself and partner. Eventually, the world will not be as racist as it is now, but the sad thing is, that none of us will probably be alive to see it. I wish all of you out t here the best of luck and send some e-mail anytime.

I am a Black female married to a White male. We will celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary in October. We have lived in Northern Virginia (while working in Washington, DC) and now live in Maine. While working in Washington, we encountered many hostile comments and stares from Black men, one of whom we thought was going to physically accost us. Living in Maine, the people in general are of the "live and let live" attitude, at least in the area we reside in. Mostly we may get curious looks, and when w e are in grocery stores, the cashiers don't realize we are together. My husband wants to get a "I'm With Her" shirt. I am sure we are the topic of some behind-door conversations, but we couldn't care less. My children will be going to the 4th and 1st g rades. So far, there haven't been many problems but the school has a policy of not tolerating any type of harrassment and the Principal is very involved with the parents. I am not describing utopia here, I have had instances of attitudes towards myself, but they have been very few and far-between. I am from North Carolina, where my distant relatives (cousins, uncles) have been less-than-accepting of my marriage, even after 12 years. We are still the topic of conversation. On the other hand, my brother married a Filipino woman, and nobody says anything. I have found that in NC, being a Black woman married to a White man is less "accepting" than being a Black man married to a White woman. I am not quite sure why that is, but I never understood bigotry anyway.

I am a 27 year white professional female dating a 28 black male originally from Trinidad in the West Indies. Although we have been plagued by the usual stares and puzzled looks by many strangers, it is becoming increasingly easier to deal with the ignora nce. In additional to my own unawareness of black culture (given the fact that I grew up in an area comprised 99% of white), I am also getting an education on West Indian culture. I am interested in hearing any comments or suggestions from interracial c ouples who are white and West Indian, and how you may/may not have accepted the differences that exist between the two cultures. We have been together a little over two years and can say that I am looking forward to marriage at some point in the future. I am excited at the idea of bringing together to very different and rich cultures. All comments are welcome!

I am a 24 year old white male engaged to a 24 year old Native American female. I find that town we currently reside in does not look very well upon interracial couples.It is especially hard because her family is the only Native Americans in the town. We almost always have people staring at us when we walk through a store or down the sidewalk holding hands.Some of the people are even stupid enough to walk by and say things to us.I've been called "Injun lover" more times than I can count.She's been told things like "go back to the reservation where you belong" and been called a "squaw".She even had to quit high school because the students picked on her so much. My boss even turned on me because I was dating a Native American. At one point we were on the verge of a brake up but we got counciling on a nearby reservation and learned to work things out.We are now deeply in love with each other and feel that nothing can stand in our way. She is currently testing for her GED. We will move to Arizona after she is finished and live on the reservation with her people.We are not giving up, we just want our children to have a life where they are not surrounded by a rascist community.

I am a 29 year old white male married 4 years to a 30 year old black female. I have read all the messages posted in this forum. I understand their is still racism in the U.S.; some part of the country are better than others. My wife and I have lived in Colorado Springs, CO and Killeen, TX. I'm sure that my wife and I have been the topic of other's closed door discussions, but Neither my wife nor myself has ever experienced any negative racially motivated comments. I know the problems exist for others, and I truly feel for them. I guess the good fortune that we've had comes from being in the military. I don't know the exact statistics for the town, but it seems to me that one out of 15 relationships in this town are interracial. I don't t hink it's possible to go into any school classroom and not find at least 3 bi-racial children in every class. The different mixes of nationalities here is very diverse: black, white, korean, mexican, puerto rican, japanese, philipino, german...all in in terracial relationships. Many have asked, "where is a good place for bi-racial couples to live?" Killeen is not the most exciting or glamorous town in the world, but probably one of the most understanding.

As a white American maleengaged to an Asian-Indian female, I have encountered many stares in the local S. Asian community, but generally speaking, here in Houston things are easy for interracial couples. It is usually within the community, in Indian thea tres or at social events such as music concerts, that we are the subject of notice. We do not really mind so much, but her 10 yr. old son feels awkward.

It is sometimes hard to act appropriately (no public displays of affection) but I always h old her hand. It makes us proud to be together and she feels accepted in such a crowd, being as I am happy to be with her there.

Her family is half-accepting/half-disapproving. It will be a 2nd marriage for both of us. We both have a strong love for ourselves and each other's cultural standards. She sees herself as very independent-minded (and I love that about her, along with her humor and smarts!)

Any comments from Indian/Westerner couples of longtime love/marriage? Any in Houst on?

Namaste and Peace to you.
David

Hello everyone!

This is a great site! A common ground that we all can share! I'm white,(Italian), and my husband of six years is black. We've known each other for nine years. Prejudices will exist probably indefinitely. Inner strength between t wo people is the key to a successful relationship. The main focus should be on each other instead of worrying about who is "staring", or what others may be feeling, or saying about you. We live in South Florida, and it is one huge "melting pot" here. We h ad our home built in a newly developed area, not knowing what kind of "neighborhood" it would turn out to be. Well, it is a pleasure to say that this area is quite unique! It's filled with a wonderful blend of people of every ethinic background you could imagine! We love it here!

Another thing I would like to mention is, the upcoming cruise that will take place in Dec. of 98. It's called :

Interrace Cruise'98

If you are interested, please contact:
Mersch Travel Agency,(Miami )
1(305)-822-1050, ask for Heather Messias

If you'd like to "chat", feel free to e-mail me!

Peace,

Rose Mary

Hello, I'm 31 white female and my husband of 8 years is black. We have two beautiful little girls. My husband and I met in the military. Interracial relationships are common in the military. Our last duty station was here in Charleston, South Carolina . We decided to make this our home. I didn't realize or you could say I was real ignorant to racial prejudice until I started working at the papermill. Alot of people wouldn't speak to me because I have a black husband. At first I would come home upse t because I couldn't understand how people could be like this. I have come to realize that there are people with very small minds. I've had someone ask me how could I marry a black man. He told me he would disown his daughter. I am very happy in my marr iage and I married my husband because he was my best friend and thats what I fell in love with. I'm looking for a support group or someone to chat with. Contact me at grobertson05@sprynet.com

My name is Rebecca, and I am from Mississippi. I was brought up not to date outside my race (which is white). My family is totally against interracial dating. But I am trying to see past that. I am in love with a guy who is sweet, romatic, cute, and very smart. And YES..he is black. I have never met anyone quite like him, black or white. But since I am still a minor, there isn't much I can do. If my parents knew how I felt about this guy, they would probably never let me leave the house. They a lready have made their point of the situation very clear to me. So what am I suppose to do? Am I suppose to go behind their back? Keep it on the downlow, or grow up to be like them??? I just believe parents should stop older people should stop living in the past and look toward the future. But if you have any advice for me, then let me know. Because I need all I can get!

I am writing a paper for college on interracial dating. The question I have is--Can people of different racial and ethnig groups be real friends, spouses, family, etc. I was wondering if anyone could mail me comments on this issue. I truly believe th at they can because I am sort of in a relationship at this time, but I need enough info. for a three page paper and need some help getting started. This paper has to be a proposal arguement with a definite solution. I was thinking that my proposal would be that they can be friends, and the solution is to accept everyone the same. I need a lot of detail and backup information, so if anyone can help, it would be greatly appreciated. Pleas e-mail me with anything you have. Articles, papers, opinions, e tc. If possible before Fri. Oct. 17, 1997. Thank you!

i come from a strong german-lutheran background. of course we are
taught not to be racist but that teaching was thoroughly put to
the test when my white aunt married a black pre-sem student. the
initial reaction was more one of "how do we a ct around him"
rather than of "that's wrong". over the last few years keith has
become better know for his dominance at basketball (hes 6'9'',
im next tallest at 6'1'') and his love for sports (and God), than
his skin color. it sad to hear of tales (especially my bekoved midwest) but its
also wrong to classify all under one or two experiences a person
may have had. we are all sinful but don't judge us on our worse
specimens.

Very interesting reading. My wife and I are not interracial, but our family sure is! My youngest son is black (adopted)
and my brother's wife (and his kids) are Native American. Here in Kansas there seems to be less racism than some parts
of the country that we have visited. (Being a white person I'm not likely to experience as much, though!) However, it strikes
me in reading and in travelling that everyone is going to either feel like there is a) more, or b) less, bigotry in their
neck of the woods than some other place.
Thus, my premise is that there really is no better or worse place; it depends on your particular situation and which
neighborhood you live in, and who you hang out with, and what your general outlook is on l ife (negative/positive) and so many
other variables, that affects the experiences that you may have and the other person may not.
Let's keep looking at others as people, and not as different, and perhaps all of our kids won't feel like they have to
explain their diversity, but revel in it as a part of who of they are.
By the way, it sure is hard to find "afro-centric" displays and cards for the holidays! :-)
-Joel

This is a very important topic. As such, my self and a friend
want to act out a play that contains an interacial relationship.
We are having a very difficult time finding such a script. She
is a twenty year old black female and I am a twen ty four year old
white male. Please, send me any information you might have.
Thank you.

I am a white Jewish male and my girlfriend is light skinned (Trinidadian). I find our relationship is more acceptable by "whites" rather than "blacks". I maybe wrong because "white people" are taught not to stare at people of color. Hence, they dont. How ever, black people constantly stare and comment. I, feel, if I was black I would be respected. Anyway, i think this relationship is great and for now i am happy. Ignorance of nations have lead to wars in the past, for i am a true warrior; ignorant-free. I f anyone recieves this can you please send me some information on "psychological stress on interracial couples". I am doing a research paper and anything helps. Thank you.

I am a white Jewish male and my girlfriend is light skinned (Trinidadian). I find our relationship is more acceptable by "whites" rather than "blacks". I maybe wrong because "white people" are taught not to stare at people of color. Hence, they dont. How ever, black people constantly stare and comment. I, feel, if I was black I would be respected. Anyway, i think this relationship is great and for now i am happy. Ignorance of nations have lead to wars in the past, for i am a true warrior; ignorant-free. I f anyone recieves this can you please send me some information on "psychological stress on interracial couples". I am doing a research paper and anything helps. Thank you.

I am a white Jewish male and my girlfriend is light skinned (Trinidadian). I find our relationship is more acceptable by "whites" rather than "blacks". I maybe wrong because "white people" are taught not to stare at people of color. Hence, they dont. How ever, black people constantly stare and comment. I, feel, if I was black I would be respected. Anyway, i think this relationship is great and for now i am happy. Ignorance of nations have lead to wars in the past, for i am a true warrior; ignorant-free. I f anyone recieves this can you please send me some information on "psychological stress on interracial couples". I am doing a research paper and anything helps. Thank you.

I am a 27 year old white woman married to a 28 year old
black man. We have a beautiful 6 year old daughter. Interracial relationships are fairly common where we live (Ohio), so we dont feel alone or as if we are unusual. We purposely sought out a ne ighborhood that was racially diverse so that our daughter would have the opportunity to play with children of all different races. She see's other families
that mirror her own frequently, and there are many other
bi-racial children in her school. We teach her to be
proud of her ethnic heritage and we are members of IPRIDE.
We have never experienced open dicrimination or hostility,
but I am sure it's out there. We are lucky and have very
supportive families and a great group of fri ends.
Actually, many of our friends are also in interracial
relationships (of all kinds), which is very nice for us.
I have had white friends express surprise when they find
out my husband is black. I dont fit their stereotype of
a w hite woman who dates black men - whatever that is.
I find that to be insulting, I am just a regular person-
and my husband and I have a regular happy, loving marriage.
He is truely my soul mate and we look forward to growing old old together. I cant imagine spending the rest
of my life with anyone else, and the fact that there
are people out there who think that we should not be
together just on the basis of our skin colors amazes me!
Please feel free to E-Mail us, we would l ove to hear from
you!

I am a 44 yr old white female Houstonian married 1 year to a 29 yr old male native of China. I never hear about any other marriages like mine. Am I the only one? I can't find any thing on the internet about white females marrying asian men. Please e-mail me if you have any info on the subject. Thanks.
Nora

I can't belive this ?? in a society where people are SAID to be educated
and in that society if people are struglling for being an interracial couple then I would say
that society is very far behind in the civilian deveploments or should I say metal development ?
you can't be the good society by sending the first man on the moon or discovering those deadly weapons,..
and the worst thing is that when that society make its poiters towards other and say you are backwards,
i think this site is the live example of your backwardness,
I would apprciate those who have courage and they did or do what they want regardless of social comments or what would society say
about them.

A black female of caribbean ancestry, I was married for 10+ years to a black American man, but my 2 boyfriends since then have been white. (No, not a backlash of any kind, believe me; it has just turned out that way.) In many areas of Southern California where I live, IR relationships are not a cause for commotion, as it's seen frequently enough. What does bother me, however (and maybe this is part of the "Hollywood" scene?) is when white men are attracted to me SIMPLY because I am black. (What is this--a Thomas Jefferson mentality??) Be in love (or even in lust) with me because I am me (and also BLACK), but not primarily because I am black.
Get the point?

My husband (WM) and I(BF) have been married for almost 8 years and have done wonderfully to say the least. We beat the odds in more ways than one. We met in a high school in the south (Texas). We were married at 18 and 19 while I was in college and he was in the military; therefore, it was a long distance relationship. Even though we were stationed in S. Carolina, which is one of the most racist places I've ever experienced, my husband and I faired very well because we had a great support network, including friends and family. When we moved to Seattle things just got better.
I highly suggest moving to western WA, if you are interested in culturally diverse and relaxed environments. IR families are such a large population here, I sometimes forget that we are still in America. Although I love it here, and I am almost sure to raise my kids here, I am a traveler at heart. I am looking for any info. on IR lifestyles and attitudes in South America, England, Greece, Italy, and the South Pacific. Any su ggestions?

I feel that attitudes have changed for the better in the South. I live in North Carolina and I have noticed that a lot of people of different cultures are getting along better. Currently, I am a senior in High School, and my boyfriend is Mexican and I an African-American. It does not bother a lot people in our school. We all have been raised in a different time period and I think that it is easier for us to accept interracial dating, than some adults. My parents, do not have a problem with my boyfriend. He is one of the most respectful people they have met and they are pleased that I am with him. I know not all parents are as understanding as mine are, but hopefully through my research, I can some opinions.

I live in Charlotte, North Carolina and here I have noticed that attitudes are strating to change about interracial dating. I am a senior in high school and I am 17 years old. My boyfriend, is a 17 year old Mexican male, and I am an African-American female. Our friends in school do not have a problem with this and treat us with respect and kindness like they always have. However, I cannot say that all people in the south are as accepting of this as others. Just last Saturday, our friends, him and myself, were going to the movies. As soon as we were inside, I saw a guy who had tried to talk to me before, and he asked me if that was my boyfriend and I said "Yes". He then gets an attitude with me and calls me a "sellout", meaning that I am not a true black person. I was insulted, but then I realized that I was dealing with an ignorant person, so I just let it be. My parents like my boyfriend very much. They say he is one of the most respectful people they ever met. They do not mind if I date out of my race, because I have been doing it for sometime now. They always say, "If you like him and he makes you happy, then we like him". So, right now, I am definately happy.

I live in Charlotte, North Carolina and here I have noticed that attitudes are strating to change about interracial dating. I am a senior in high school and I am 17 years old. My boyfriend, is a 17 year old Mexican male, and I am an African-American female. Our friends in school do not have a problem with this and treat us with respect and kindness like they always have. However, I cannot say that all people in the south are as accepting of this as others. Just last Saturday, our friends, him and myself, were going to the movies. As soon as we were inside, I saw a guy who had tried to talk to me before, and he asked me if that was my boyfriend and I said "Yes". He then gets an attitude with me and calls me a "sellout", meaning that I am not a true black person. I was insulted, but then I realized that I was dealing with an ignorant person, so I just let it be. My parents like my boyfriend very much. They say he is one of the most respectful people they ever met. They do not mind if I date out of my race, because I have been doing it for sometime now. They always say, "If you like him and he makes you happy, then we like him". So, right now, I am definately happy. E-mail ME!!!!!!!!!

Hi! I was pretty happy to come across your site, quite by accident. It's great to hear
stories that are similar to my own experiences. I'm an Asian-Indian woman, doing a PhD
in Toronto. I'm currently 25. I've been dating a Japanese man, 31, for about two and
a half years. He's nisei - born and raised in Canada. His parents were interned in
work-camps in Canada during the second-world war for being Japanese.

I don't know if the attitudes are getting better or worse. In Vancouver, where I'm
originally from, there's a lot of racism brewing towards Asian people, as there was
a huge immigration movement from Hong Kong to Vancouver because of the 1997 handover.
There's a polarization of whites and Chinese, and you can feel the tension. People think
that my boyfriend is Chinese, so he gets dirty looks from Chinese people and Asian-indian
men. We are constantly stared at, a lot of times out of curiousity. We're a pretty
unusual combo. It used to be really unnerving to be stared at _all the time_, but now
we joke about it and have fun with it (ie. kissing each other while people are staring).
Our parents and family are very open to our relationship and talk about what our kids
would look like. I think the mix would be very appealing.

I'm not going to wax idealistically about interracial dating or marriages, because I know from
personal experience that they also have the potential to cause grief - relationships are
hard enough as it is. I dated a white guy for 5 years, and it turned into a disaster
precisely because of the cultural difference and worldviews on things like family,
spirituality, historical experience, and so on. In all honesty, if we had had better
communication and the ability to compromise and celbrate difference instead of
trying to 'win', things may have worked out. My relationship now is completely opposite -
we talk everything to death and give a lot. We're totally willing to learn about one
another (food, dress, dance, hi story, etc. etc.) and make each other know that we
identify the other as belonging to a different culture instead of pretending that we're
all the same. Belonging to two non-dominant cultures in North America, we make sure to
go the extra mile to celebrate what each other is. I wear sarees to formal events like
weddings with him completely proud on my arm, and let him explain to people what
my nose-ring means. :)

I look forward to spending a life with him.

But I still haven't gotten used to all of the stares...

I welcome any email from people with similar experiences.

Devina

I believe, from personal experience, that interracial couples are treated with less respect than the "traditional" couple. I hesitate to say this is true of people everywhere or worldwide, because I lack the personal knowledge to say so. My fiance and I have been in a loving relationship for five years now, yet people , including our families, refuse to acknowledge it.

I am the only african-american in our neighborhoodand believe me when I say that the neighbors have been subtly reminding me of this for the past two years. We notice that often we are treated different-- not very friendly, rude, disrespected-- when we are conducting routine business sucha as shopping,etc... Usually it is our first encounter with the person or persons, so obviously they know little or nothing about our beliefs, morals, or lives. The only thing that is obvious is our race...
Surely it is better now than it once was, but here in Houston,Texas the more things change the more they stay the same.

It is at times embarrassing to be an American and to have to endure the types of attitudes one encounters when walking down the street as part of an interracial couple in an area as "liberal" as the Bay Area of California in this year of 1997. In Europe, a continent over which we Americans feel we must continue to try to prove our superiority, the attitude, to a certain degree, is live and let live. Yet even in the larger cities of this country you are stared at, snide comments are tossed your way, and you are generally made to feel inferior because of the path you have chosen. In thisgeograpic area, the coupling of Asian females and White men is so commonplace as to no longer warrant the raising of an eyebrow. Yet if I were to walk along proudly as a black woman who happens to be with a white man, I feel as if I must dodge the fruit which is being mentally lobbed at me from those who disapprove. And the disapproval is particularly expressed by my so-called "sisters" and "brothers". It is hateful and causes one to question the decisions they have made to love this or that person. Europeans just seem to more accepting and I've found a certain freedom when traveling on that continent. In fact I've found them to more willing to enter into an interracial relationship with a black woman since they have not been exposed to the centuries of relentless racial hatred that has infiltrated and defined this country. Would love to hear from people who have any comment on the above.

I am a West African Male married to an White American Female. We have two children (boys - 2 and 5 years old). We recently moved to Columbia South Carolina from Maine. I find it very disappointing moving to a state is much more diverse than Maine and is not accepting by both Blacks and Whites. I worked with couple black men. During a conversation in the hall way in my workplace (a respectible fortune 500 company), One on the male remarked, when I asked about a good neighborhood to buy a house, " You will not be accepted in my neighbor which is predominately black neither in a white area". I have been here only eight months. I have a very excellent managerial position in my company. Any one out there who live in this area? My wife and I would like to meet other bi-racial couple.

I am a 25 year old black female and I have been in a relationship with a 30 year old white male for about 4 years. I was raised in mostly white suburban areas, starting in California, where I was born, and living in Kansas, Texas, Georgia, Connecticut, North Carolina/South Carolina. My mate was born in Virginia, but lived most of his life in West Virginia. He did not really get to know any Blacks until he went to art school in Pittsburgh after graduating from high school.

I have many problems with self identity and feeling like a misfit because of the usual things, like people saying that you are trying to be white or acting white because you like rock music or use proper english, etc.

I believe that people are products of the environment that they are brought up in. And their lives are shaped by the willingness to have an open mind, be adventurous, and following their hearts.

My problem that I am wrestling with is my fear of rejection or my fear of being humiliated by bigots. I have fou nd myself in the past lying about key pieces of information to my co-workers that would "give away" the race of my partner, and for two years now on two different jobs I have talked myself out of bringing my partner to any work related functions because I actually have nightmares that I will be fired from my job or treated so cold and heartlessly, that I will not have the emotional ability to return to work day after day.

I also go over and over in my head, what will people think. I wonder if My bosses wife would be afraid that since I am attracted to white men, would I try to seduce her husband?

All of the things that I worry about are driving me to the point of insanity. I live in a rural area outside of Charlotte, NC and feel very isolated here. I can't move because my mate and I just bought real estate here.

I am paralyzed by fear of the bigots and don't know what to do! Someone please email me with suggestions. I would especially like to hear from individuals whos job/way of making a living was threatened, when their boss or clients found out about their interracial relationship/marriage.

My email address is dw72@juno.com

Wiating to here from you!

PEACE!

I am a 25 year old black female and I have been in a relationship with a 30 year old white male for about 4 years. I was raised in mostly white suburban areas, starting in California, where I was born, and living in Kansas, Texas, Georgia, Connecticut, North Carolina/South Carolina. My mate was born in Virginia, but lived most of his life in West Virginia. He did not really get to know any Blacks until he went to art school in Pittsburgh after graduating from high school.

I have many problems with self identity and feeling like a misfit because of the usual things, like people saying that you are trying to be white or acting white because you like rock music or use proper english, etc.

I believe that people are products of the environment that they are brought up in. And their lives are shaped by the willingness to have an open mind, be adventurous, and following their hearts.

My problem that I am wrestling with is my fear of rejection or my fear of being humiliated by bigots. I have fou nd myself in the past lying about key pieces of information to my co-workers that would "give away" the race of my partner, and for two years now on two different jobs I have talked myself out of bringing my partner to any work related functions because I actually have nightmares that I will be fired from my job or treated so cold and heartlessly, that I will not have the emotional ability to return to work day after day.

I also go over and over in my head, what will people think. I wonder if My bosses wife would be afraid that since I am attracted to white men, would I try to seduce her husband?

All of the things that I worry about are driving me to the point of insanity. I live in a rural area outside of Charlotte, NC and feel very isolated here. I can't move because my mate and I just bought real estate here.

I am paralyzed by fear of the bigots and don't know what to do! Someone please email me with suggestions. I would especially like to hear from individuals whos job/way of making a living was threatened, when their boss or clients found out about their interracial relationship/marriage.

My email address is dw72@juno.com

Wiating to here from you!

PEACE!

Being a military family we have travelled world-wide. Suprisingly the friendliest place we have encountered is Germany! We now live in Oklahoma and seem to be experiencing the "looks" from these folks when we venture out beyond the military post. My husband is african-american and I am caucasian. We have two boys. I feel there is more predjudiced right here in the United States than any other country we have visited. I would love to hear more comments on this topic.

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