I am a 44yr old white female who has been with a black man for
almost 14 yrs. We have a 10 yr old son together and I have an
18 yr old daughter from a previous interracial relationship. This
site is what I wanted to be able to utilize when I was able to go
online(I'm very new to this medium).
First of all there are ignorant people everywhere. I live in
upstate NY and although attitudes are getting more tolerant they
are far from what they should be. I haven't had a relationship
my father for over 22 years (he lives 20 miles from me). Because
of this my family is very rarely invited to any family functions.
In fact when one of my brothers got married a couple of years ago
he and his (then)fiance sent us an invitation to the wedding. I
was really happy (an extremely surprised) and immediately RSVP'd
our happy acceptance. Well, I should've known! My brother's
mother (my aunt--another story) wrote me a letter saying I could
attend but my family couldn' t. She wanted to be sure that my dad
would go and if my family was there he wouldn't. So needless to
say we didn't go, not wanting to ruin my brother and his wife's
special day. My father totally ignores my kids as being related
to him and he tells people that I'm dead. I'm his only daughter
(I have 6 brothers all together). As a result, my kids don't
really know the great majority of their maternal relatives. I do
have 2 brothers with whom we have an ongoing relationship and we
see the others occasionally.
So, as you see when you get all kinds of "stuff" from your own
family, the outside world is not so overwhelming. I usually ignore
comments and stares that inevitably occur unless it is blatant and
recurring. Anyway I could go on and on about the things I've
seen and experienced over the last 24 yrs. I'd like to talk to
others who might know what it's like or would like to tap my mind
for advice if you are thinking of entering into a relationship
that might not please your family.

I'm a 21 year old white female and have just recently accepted an engagement ring from my sweetheart, a 20 year old African American. We met through the internet and began a relationship last February, he came to visit and meet me this past August...I had the time of my life!! I just recently got back from visiting him, ring on finger :), about a week ago, and again, I had the time of my life and thought the WORLD of his whole family!! And may I add, his family like me a lot too, and are VERY supportive of us!!

The problem...my parents!! Honestly, I haven't even told them that I'm engaged yet...I'm really scared to tell them. They do know about him, and did meet him when he came to visit me, but weren't too happy about it. Here's the story....

My Aunt, from my mother's side of the family, was married to an American American, my favorite uncle, who recently passed away. They never had children together, but did adopt a milano daughter. My parents were the first out of the whole family to accept it, when others wouldn't. To this day, my mom tells me she would've never accepted my milano cousin had she been "THEIR" daughter instead of adopted...STUPID, eh? My thoughts exactly!! :)

Before I left on my trip, my mom told me, flat out, "If you marry him, you won't have a mother or father, if you have kids, they will not be my grandchildren, and as far as I'm concerned you won't even be alive!!" Now, as the baby of the family out of 7 kids (one sister that passed away years ago), that hurt!! I've always been a mommy and daddy's girl and to hear that tears me up inside, especially when my fiance is ALL I'm looking for in a husband...and more!!

My mom has always tried to run our lives (meaning my brothers and sisters) and even disowned my sister once. When my sister came home to tell her she was marrying her current boyfriend (who is white), she began throwing plates at her!! THAT'S why I'm scared the most!! I know this may seem psychotic, but my family isn't that way, we jus t have a controlling mother!!

I've talked to my dad a few months back and he told me that he'd rather I not marry my fiance but if I did, he would be there for me and that my mom would come around in time...but I'm not sure how much time it will take her!! I mean, she is going on 63 years old and to be on non-speaking terms with my mom when she passes away would literally kill me inside!!

If anyone has any comments or suggestions, please email me!! And, thanks for reading!! :)

This site was an excellent find and I am definitely bookmarking it for future reference. Now, on to my situation. And, reading other people's comments, it may seem not so bad, but to me, it's like that low pulsing pain: it does cause excruciating pain, but it gets to be pain after a while!

I have been married for over 7 years now to a white woman. We are both in our mid-30's, so we have experience some things in life before we got together. Her family, as you probably already imagine, was not too happy about her dating ANOTHER black man. I was the third, and from what I'm am gathering, the other two were not very positive models for me to follow. There was not a lot of hostility like I have seen others experince in this forum, but there were a lot comments that were made to my wife that made her sad, especially after it was known that we were getting married. Some said they would not be going to the wedding, etc.

Well, they got to meet me and I felt we were all trying to work toward a better rel ationship. I feel with most of her family, I am on pretty good terms. That's nice.

There's one problem that keeps popping up, however. Her family (expecially her immediate family, since I am around them more), seem still inclined to make what I consider racist comments. Statements like: "They all look a like," "They're all like that," "Those people always lie," and lots, lots more! It gets to me sometime, even though most of the time they are not talking about blacks. I have been fortunate to have been associated with people of all cultures and I feel that I have benefited and learnd from those experiences. No matter how I try to correct them or let them know I don't like those statements, they continue or say "I know what I'm talking about, you don't know like I know!" This statement has been directed at me even when the racist comments have been directed at blacks! What could they know that I don't!!!!

Well, I can deal with that if that's all there was. But here is what bothers me: for most of our relationship, my wife has sat in the presence of these comments (even when they are directed at my race) and said NOTHING! She won't respond. Even in our house! I tell her that when you sit there in silence, you give approval of these comments. I believe she is torn between her family and what is right?

For the most part, my family does not make these kind of comments, but when they are made, I MAKE SURE THAT I AM THE FIRST ONE TO CORRECT THAT PERSON! PERIOD!

I let her know that it is affecting our relationship and the way I feel about her, but I only get luke-warm reaction. I feel so abandoned sometimes. I told her rather that cause her this torn-apart feeling, I would not go to the family outings as much. She would get upset. I let her know that this is going to come to a boil soon and it is going to cause unrepairable damage to the family soon. She had no reaction. But then it happen!

This was some time ago. I don't know if you remember that so-called CIA crack story that was bla sted already the papers. Well, ironically, I found myself on the other side of my wife's brother and my wife's sister's brother. I said we should wait to see the evidence of whether the CIA sent crack cocaine into South Central LA before we start getting bent out of shape. Well, her brother, who has always been the most racially vocal of the family, said that he could believe it because the government knew that the black man would destroy himself over it! This lead to how black people are inferior and how black people can't control themselves, and that the only reason he got involved in drugs (he dealt drugs before) is because black people taught him!

Needless to say, we almost came to blows at that point. I let him know that that was a bunch of crap and that if he ever wanted to know what black people are like, he had all the example he needed at his convenience: me, my family, etc. His statement was "Statistics show..." I finally stormed out saying "I've had it with you...thanks for a wonderful time on my birthday!" It was my birthday and my wife's sister and her brother were going out to dinner with us. He had invited himself along.

My wife still felt it necessary to explain her brother's actions even when her brother didn't find it necessry to excuse them. With every word from his mouth, the statements kept getting more vulgar. I took this as an insult not just on me, but on my family and any other black person that finds it necessary to work had and do the right thing in life. Idiots like will knock you no matter what you do.

I've never looked at him, my wife, or my family the same since then. I know that she will never consistently come to my defense and that her family can't exercise control over their mouths that you would expect courteous adults to. When family outings come up, sometimes I go, sometimes I don't and my wife does get upset. I really don't care anymore. I also let my wife know something else that did make her quite upset. I told her that as long as she shows such unresp onsiveness in this area, I can't bring myself to bring any children into this world where such disgusting attitudes are abundant.

One thing I must say I am proud of: even when I was at my most angry and felt like knocking his block off, I didn't spew out the same swill as he did. It never came to my mind to do that! I did point that out, but he said "So what!"

Any thoughts on this from the forum? Am I blowing this out of purportion?

This site was an excellent find and I am definitely bookmarking it for future reference. Now, on to my situation. And, reading other people's comments, it may seem not so bad, but to me, it's like that low pulsing pain: it does cause excruciating pain, but it gets to be pain after a while!

I have been married for over 7 years now to a white woman. We are both in our mid-30's, so we have experience some things in life before we got together. Her family, as you probably already imagine, was not too happy about her dating ANOTHER black man. I was the third, and from what I'm am gathering, the other two were not very positive models for me to follow. There was not a lot of hostility like I have seen others experince in this forum, but there were a lot comments that were made to my wife that made her sad, especially after it was known that we were getting married. Some said they would not be going to the wedding, etc.

Well, they got to meet me and I felt we were all trying to work toward a better rel ationship. I feel with most of her family, I am on pretty good terms. That's nice.

There's one problem that keeps popping up, however. Her family (expecially her immediate family, since I am around them more), seem still inclined to make what I consider racist comments. Statements like: "They all look a like," "They're all like that," "Those people always lie," and lots, lots more! It gets to me sometime, even though most of the time they are not talking about blacks. I have been fortunate to have been associated with people of all cultures and I feel that I have benefited and learnd from those experiences. No matter how I try to correct them or let them know I don't like those statements, they continue or say "I know what I'm talking about, you don't know like I know!" This statement has been directed at me even when the racist comments have been directed at blacks! What could they know that I don't!!!!

Well, I can deal with that if that's all there was. But here is what bothers me: for most of our relationship, my wife has sat in the presence of these comments (even when they are directed at my race) and said NOTHING! She won't respond. Even in our house! I tell her that when you sit there in silence, you give approval of these comments. I believe she is torn between her family and what is right?

For the most part, my family does not make these kind of comments, but when they are made, I MAKE SURE THAT I AM THE FIRST ONE TO CORRECT THAT PERSON! PERIOD!

I let her know that it is affecting our relationship and the way I feel about her, but I only get luke-warm reaction. I feel so abandoned sometimes. I told her rather that cause her this torn-apart feeling, I would not go to the family outings as much. She would get upset. I let her know that this is going to come to a boil soon and it is going to cause unrepairable damage to the family soon. She had no reaction. But then it happen!

This was some time ago. I don't know if you remember that so-called CIA crack story that was bla sted already the papers. Well, ironically, I found myself on the other side of my wife's brother and my wife's sister's brother. I said we should wait to see the evidence of whether the CIA sent crack cocaine into South Central LA before we start getting bent out of shape. Well, her brother, who has always been the most racially vocal of the family, said that he could believe it because the government knew that the black man would destroy himself over it! This lead to how black people are inferior and how black people can't control themselves, and that the only reason he got involved in drugs (he dealt drugs before) is because black people taught him!

Needless to say, we almost came to blows at that point. I let him know that that was a bunch of crap and that if he ever wanted to know what black people are like, he had all the example he needed at his convenience: me, my family, etc. His statement was "Statistics show..." I finally stormed out saying "I've had it with you...thanks for a wonderful time on my birthday!" It was my birthday and my wife's sister and her brother were going out to dinner with us. He had invited himself along.

My wife still felt it necessary to explain her brother's actions even when her brother didn't find it necessry to excuse them. With every word from his mouth, the statements kept getting more vulgar. I took this as an insult not just on me, but on my family and any other black person that finds it necessary to work had and do the right thing in life. Idiots like will knock you no matter what you do.

I've never looked at him, my wife, or my family the same since then. I know that she will never consistently come to my defense and that her family can't exercise control over their mouths that you would expect courteous adults to. When family outings come up, sometimes I go, sometimes I don't and my wife does get upset. I really don't care anymore. I also let my wife know something else that did make her quite upset. I told her that as long as she shows such unresp onsiveness in this area, I can't bring myself to bring any children into this world where such disgusting attitudes are abundant.

One thing I must say I am proud of: even when I was at my most angry and felt like knocking his block off, I didn't spew out the same swill as he did. It never came to my mind to do that! I did point that out, but he said "So what!"

Any thoughts on this from the forum? Am I blowing this out of purportion?

This site was an excellent find and I am definitely bookmarking it for future reference. Now, on to my situation. And, reading other people's comments, it may seem not so bad, but to me, it's like that low pulsing pain: it does cause excruciating pain, but it gets to be pain after a while!

I have been married for over 7 years now to a white woman. We are both in our mid-30's, so we have experience some things in life before we got together. Her family, as you probably already imagine, was not too happy about her dating ANOTHER black man. I was the third, and from what I'm am gathering, the other two were not very positive models for me to follow. There was not a lot of hostility like I have seen others experince in this forum, but there were a lot comments that were made to my wife that made her sad, especially after it was known that we were getting married. Some said they would not be going to the wedding, etc.

Well, they got to meet me and I felt we were all trying to work toward a better rel ationship. I feel with most of her family, I am on pretty good terms. That's nice.

There's one problem that keeps popping up, however. Her family (expecially her immediate family, since I am around them more), seem still inclined to make what I consider racist comments. Statements like: "They all look a like," "They're all like that," "Those people always lie," and lots, lots more! It gets to me sometime, even though most of the time they are not talking about blacks. I have been fortunate to have been associated with people of all cultures and I feel that I have benefited and learnd from those experiences. No matter how I try to correct them or let them know I don't like those statements, they continue or say "I know what I'm talking about, you don't know like I know!" This statement has been directed at me even when the racist comments have been directed at blacks! What could they know that I don't!!!!

Well, I can deal with that if that's all there was. But here is what bothers me: for most of our relationship, my wife has sat in the presence of these comments (even when they are directed at my race) and said NOTHING! She won't respond. Even in our house! I tell her that when you sit there in silence, you give approval of these comments. I believe she is torn between her family and what is right?

For the most part, my family does not make these kind of comments, but when they are made, I MAKE SURE THAT I AM THE FIRST ONE TO CORRECT THAT PERSON! PERIOD!

I let her know that it is affecting our relationship and the way I feel about her, but I only get luke-warm reaction. I feel so abandoned sometimes. I told her rather that cause her this torn-apart feeling, I would not go to the family outings as much. She would get upset. I let her know that this is going to come to a boil soon and it is going to cause unrepairable damage to the family soon. She had no reaction. But then it happen!

This was some time ago. I don't know if you remember that so-called CIA crack story that was bla sted already the papers. Well, ironically, I found myself on the other side of my wife's brother and my wife's sister's brother. I said we should wait to see the evidence of whether the CIA sent crack cocaine into South Central LA before we start getting bent out of shape. Well, her brother, who has always been the most racially vocal of the family, said that he could believe it because the government knew that the black man would destroy himself over it! This lead to how black people are inferior and how black people can't control themselves, and that the only reason he got involved in drugs (he dealt drugs before) is because black people taught him!

Needless to say, we almost came to blows at that point. I let him know that that was a bunch of crap and that if he ever wanted to know what black people are like, he had all the example he needed at his convenience: me, my family, etc. His statement was "Statistics show..." I finally stormed out saying "I've had it with you...thanks for a wonderful time on my birthday!" It was my birthday and my wife's sister and her brother were going out to dinner with us. He had invited himself along.

My wife still felt it necessary to explain her brother's actions even when her brother didn't find it necessry to excuse them. With every word from his mouth, the statements kept getting more vulgar. I took this as an insult not just on me, but on my family and any other black person that finds it necessary to work had and do the right thing in life. Idiots like will knock you no matter what you do.

I've never looked at him, my wife, or my family the same since then. I know that she will never consistently come to my defense and that her family can't exercise control over their mouths that you would expect courteous adults to. When family outings come up, sometimes I go, sometimes I don't and my wife does get upset. I really don't care anymore. I also let my wife know something else that did make her quite upset. I told her that as long as she shows such unresp onsiveness in this area, I can't bring myself to bring any children into this world where such disgusting attitudes are abundant.

One thing I must say I am proud of: even when I was at my most angry and felt like knocking his block off, I didn't spew out the same swill as he did. It never came to my mind to do that! I did point that out, but he said "So what!"

Any thoughts on this from the forum? Am I blowing this out of purportion?

I am a white female and my husband of five years is a black man. Not only are we from different cultures but from different countries as well. We have been married for over five years and have one child and one on the way. When we got married I was still in the military and was stationed in Monterey CA. As with most military bases, the area was very supportive of interracial couples. We moved to Texas for a year (one very long year) where I found the atmosphere to be quite different. As we would travel through texas people would often stop talking and stare at us as we entered the resteraunt. We moved back to California and now live in the San Francisco Bay Area. And I love it here. I joined a church in which a black and white church had joined together in order to promote ethnic reconciliation. My child goes to school with children of many nationalities. I rarely find outwardly shown racism toward my family and me but I'm sure that subtle racism still exists. My hope and dream is that with each ge neration racism will be erased from our society.

I live in Toronto Canada and I find it to be a region which is very hospitable to interracial couples. That is not to say that you don't feel or notice the subtle looks and stares that are sometimes directed towards us but in truth, there is not a majority "race" here. People mix like crazy!

I have am a black male and have been dating a white female for the past four years. We both have the intention of attending law school in the US. Seeing as we have never encountered racism here in Canada, we don't want to go to the same school in the US only to be "tortured" by an ignorant public.

Our choices of law school are located in Malibu California, Santa Clara California, and Virginia Beach Virginia. Are these areas hospitable to interracial couples. Please get back to me.

I encourage many of you disgruntled Americans to pay me a visit in Canada - especially Ottawa, Montreal, or Toronto. It's a multi-coloured world out here!

I am a 28 year old white lady married to a black man. I am
looking for someone to talk to that has a similar background as mine. Here's my situation: Where I live, most of the interracial couples are a combination of an overweight, unattractive white lady with a black man. The only time I see an attractive white lady with a black man is on TV (mostly the basketball or football stars, or TV personalities- i.e. Montel Williams is married to a very attractive white lady). The reason I am seeking a person of this calibur is because I myself come from a very good upbringing and I consider myself to be an attractive white lady who happens to be married to a black man and I want to befriend someone with whom I can talk to who will relate to some of my skeptisizm of having an interracial child. My husband and I want children very badly, however I have some concerns about raising an interracial child. So if anyone out there is in a smiliar situation as mine, please post a response to this giving me your e-m ail address so I can write you back. I'm sorry but I cannot give out my address.

I am a 28 year old white lady married to a black man. I am
looking for someone to talk to that has a similar background as mine. Here's my situation: Where I live, most of the interracial couples are a combination of an overweight, unattractive white lady with a black man. The only time I see an attractive white lady with a black man is on TV (mostly the basketball or football stars, or TV personalities- i.e. Montel Williams is married to a very attractive white lady). The reason I am seeking a person of this calibur is because I myself come from a very good upbringing and I consider myself to be an attractive white lady who happens to be married to a black man and I want to befriend someone with whom I can talk to who will relate to some of my skeptisizm of having an interracial child. My husband and I want children very badly, however I have some concerns about raising an interracial child. So if anyone out there is in a smiliar situation as mine, please post a response to this giving me your e-m ail address so I can write you back. I'm sorry but I cannot give out my address.

I am a 30 year old white lady married to a black man. I am
looking for someone to talk to that has a similar background as mine. Here's my situation: Where I live, most of the interracial couples are a combination of an overweight, unattractive white lady with a black man. The only time I see an attractive white lady with a black man is on TV (mostly the basketball or football stars, or TV personalities- i.e. Montel Williams is married to a very attractive white lady). The reason I am seeking a person of this calibur is because I myself come from a very good upbringing and I consider myself to be an attractive white lady who happens to be married to a black man and I want to befriend someone with whom I can talk to who will relate to some of my skeptisizm of having an interracial child. My husband and I want children very badly, however I have some concerns about raising an interracial child. So if anyone out there is in a smiliar situation as mine, please post a response to this giving me your e-m ail address so I can write you back. The address typed above is no longer in service.

I really don't see what all the hoopla is about. Maybe in the States it's a lot
bigger an issue, but where we live it's not something that we really think about
too much. There are 3 interracial couples in our cul-de-sac alone and we don't
treat each other any differently from how we treat any other couple. It seems
like most of the people writing in to this site treat bi-racial or multi-racial
as yet another race/group to categorize people into, which to me, seems to defy
the whole point of eliminating racism. Racism is not just about looking down at
other races or finding fault with ethnic groups but at it's heart it's about simply
categorizing or labelling someone as belonging to a certain group and treating
them a certain way because of that label. Perhaps we are lucky to live in Canada.
I know there are plenty of people here with attitudes that could be described as
racist, biggotted, judgemental or snobbish but these people don't really interfere
in our lives and thus they do not matter. When our children ask, or for that matter,
when a stranger asks we'll tell them the genetic details but there's not really
any need to go into any more detail. You are what you are.

My e-mail address on my previous comments was wrong. Apparently there is no "cal" in
the address. I am new to this electronic communication medium.

As I am educated enough to know that what I am about to say does not necessarily go under this heading, there are no headings on this web site for what I am looking for (at least I haven't encountered one). Here is the story, I am a soon to be 26 year old, caucasian, single mother of a 2 year old biracial daughter (her father is African American). I know the importance of having a father around and the impact that it has when the father is absent. Unfortunately, my daughter's father is absent. I want my daughter to grow up in a healthy, bicultural, loving relationship (not to replace her father, but so that she knows how men and women are suppose to treat eachother.) The problem is,
I am an attractive, educated woman that is independent and having a difficult time meeting an educated, friendly , family oriented african american man that is interested in a long term relationship. So, I am not sure if I can do this,m but I am from the Seattle, Washington area and am looking to start an interracial rel ationship (this is a great area for an interracial relationship, I have NEVER encountered racism against me or my daughter). Anyway, if you are interested in e-mailing me, please do so at the above address. thanks And by the way, note to konrad, maybe you should begin an interracial dating line? just a suggestion

Hi! I'm a 29yr old white male living in Toronto, Canada. I think it's great that the interracial barriers are falling!
The only woman I have ever truly loved was Mulatto and I have been dating interracially exclusively since meeting her.
(it was a case of unrequited love, unfortunately for me) I have been looking for another woman to make me feel that
way again, and I'll be damned if I let other people's predjudices stand in my way. I haven't had much luck finding
any good interracial dating "personal ads" type of website on the net. Does anyone know of any?

I am a 22 yr old Italian-American. I am currently dating a 27 yr old black male. We've been dating for a year and love each other to death! He is planning to move down here to be with me. We are both from upstate NY. I'm not really sure how people down here are going to react to us. I don't really care, but, I know that it is a concern of his. If there is anyone from NC that could give me any ideas on what to expect that would be much appreciated.

I am thrilled to see this discussion forum. I am in an IR marriage (WW, BM) in Chicago. Although I wouldn't say this is the greatest place for IR couples, it certainly isn't a bad place either. My husband and I have dated/known each other for 11 years, just married in 96. We live in a north side neighborhood called Andersonville. It is a very comfortable place for us to live, it's culterally diverse and has a significant gay/lesbian population, which adds to an accepting environment. The city of Chicago is truely spectacular, with it's beauty, it's restaurants, theater, lakefront, activities, etc. However, racially, it is predominantly segregated residentially, and the people are generally conservative.

We have experienced many minor incidences of racism. From teenagers yelling "n----r" from a passing car as we walked down a busy street, to hotel clerks refusing to show my husband the honeymoon suite (Sheridan, downtown Chicago) even though he was dressed in his business attire (suit and tie) the clerk (white male) addressed him with "What's up?", not "Can I help you, Sir?". The white clerks came up with all sorts of reasons why they couldn't show him the suite, until a black clerk showed up and apologized for their behavior. I struck up a conversation with 2 white police officers at the Taste of Chicago one year, and at seeing an interracial couple walk by, they said, "We see more of that sh-t every year. It makes me sick". When I pressed them on their feelings they insisted they were not racist, and said it just wasn't "right".

The worst treatment we have received was at an Anita Baker concert just months after the onset of the O.J. Simpson trial. We sat in front of a group of about 8 black women, who were single, and were very angry to see the two of us sitting in front of them. Neither one of us has ever been treated with such lack of respect. They harrassed us, really, using all kinds of names and profanity toward us WHILE Anita was singing. Although my husband is a physicall y muscular and commanding man, these women had enough anger, along with the strength in number, that they would not let up. We finally moved to different seats halfway through the concert. Sometimes, no matter what you do, how kind you try to be, or how tough you try to be, you can not reason with some people.

In summary, our overall experience boils down to overt resistance and hostility coming mainly from the black community and black women in particular, and whites putting on a good face, while making their comments about blacks when they are only amongst other whites. This also reflects how our respective families have reacted to us. The black and white communities in Chicago are largely polarized. As an IR couple we just know where to go and where not to go.

Is it worth it? Definitely! Our love and friendship far outweighs the ignorance of others. Plus, there have been many people we've come in contact with who have changed for the better from knowing the two of us. We just lea rn to laugh about it.

Trying to make a plan to move out to Seattle soon. Any tips would be welcome!

Mollie

I have often wondered why caucasion males seem "seem" to endear me more than brothers of color. With my limited experiences with caucasion males, they treat me more like a female. I am an African American large female? The same is true for older men. They "seem" to treat me better. Why?

Signed,

Wondering

I am a black female living in NC and I find the area where I currently reside very accepting of interracial couples. I live in the Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill area (aka The Triangle) and the Chapel Hill and Durham area are wonderful...especially Chapel Hill. I haven't had any problems at all. When I lived in the eastern part of the state in Greenville I found the folks to be more close minded. The Chapel Hill and Durham areas are more diverse due to Duke University and University of North Carolina and the Research Triangle Park area attracts lots of "transplants" from all areas of the country.

I'm a white female married to a Native American/white male. The only racial
remarks I've ever encountered were during a visit to another tribe (not my
husband's). He was instantly accepted. He mentioned that he didn't really
know much about the Native side of his family, his mother's side. She was
told as a child that she wasn't to associate with any of the relatives who
had brown eyes... (how sick!) Anyway, one of the Native men said it was
a shame his mother hadn't taken more pride in her heritage or my husband
might have been a greater percent Native and he might have married
Native himself. I understand the sentiment but I have to admit I was a little
hurt. I understand that there's a real resurgence of pride in culture for many
people these days but it always seems to me to be a shame people can't
be proud of each culture that contributed to their being. When will we
learn to pull ourselves up without pushing others down?
I'm interested in hear ing from anyone else who is in a white/Native
relationship just because I'd like to get more perspective.

I am a white Irish/Catholic female and my husband is Black/Baptist. We live in the suburbs of Boston and In general have found public acceptance. Both families have been very good, never really making an issue of our relationship. I'm not sure our new neighbors "love"the idea of having us here (we built a home in a new development away from the city) but we are greeted with a cordial wave most of the time. We are comfortable with ourselves and and our marriage, so we give very little room for other peoples comments. We have learned a lot from each other and I hope hope that others have too!

I was very happy to read many positive thoughts on interracial couples. I am white and am dating a wonderful, caring, sensitive man who happens to be black. Luckily, we have not experienced problems we cannot combat with understanding and communication, but I know we most likely will- sooner than later. It helps to know others have rightfully stood up for what they believe in. Stay strong and thank you!

I was very happy to read many positive thoughts on interracial couples. I am white and am dating a wonderful, caring, sensitive man who happens to be black. Luckily, we have not experienced problems we cannot combat with understanding and communication, but I know we most likely will- sooner than later. It helps to know others have rightfully stood up for what they believe in. Stay strong and thank you!

Hello,

My comment is that I never knew I had an opinion of interracial couples until I began to like a caucatian man. I didn't meet him at school, I met him at home. He's one of the best things going in my life right now. He's always there for me to listen, or talk or whatever. Most of my friends don't understand, but I don't think anyone needs to understand. Sometimes I don't, but we're all humans, with faults and flaws alike. It doesn't matter what skin color. I am African-American, and I've never been in an interracial friendship with a man before. It's different in a way, but it's so much better at the same time. I appreciate him for who he is, and he does the same. We get along great.

Thanks, I just wanted to share my thoughts.

Lisa Bryant

I am 23 years old and I have had friends of all races and
backgrounds since I was in diapers.I have dated guys who are
black and guys of other colors and even of other countries
and backgrounds.I look for the way I guy treats me as his
girlfriend.If he treats me wrong..it's over.If he treats me right
..we have a realtionship.The color isn't the most important part
(to me anyway).I have been hurt by guys who are white and black.
Sure,I was in pain.What person isn't,when they have been used or
dumped..but,I remember that I can move on and that my heart is
strong and will heal.I don't look at it and say I don't want to
date this black guy or white because of their color and they may
hurt me..any man may hurt you.Any man may fall in love with you.
My family has critized me for loving all types of music,like:
heavy metal, and madonna and country..but they also know I love rap,
and r and b,blues,gospel.And that my friends have been asian-americna,
jewish,catholic,indi an-american,native-american,italian-american,
all kinds of cool people...but they don't care that I have afican-american
friends.It used to hurt when I didn't have my cousins and aunts and
uncles blessing.But as I got older(about 15) I knew that I long
as my mother(who always said,"as long as he really loves you and
wants to take care of you.it's alright with me.")and my brother
were cool with it,I knew I had to be me and have the friends
and boyfriend I want to be with.
Sure, I have experiernced alot of people who were very negative.
I have lived in the south,north,east, and west of this country.
I have had beer spit and thrown on me and been asked to leave
a country and western club with my white friends(both at a young
age)but why should I let ignorant people get to me and give up
my friends or my boyfriend becuse they are differnet or because
I am different....to make them happy and me miserable?Me giving
up my happiness to make others happy,will solve evert hing? No,I
don't beliebe that nor do I choose to except it.I have had my
white friends or indian-american(not native-american,americans
who are from the country india)be turned away from things that
alot of black people were at.That made me feel the same way as
the other incident,but we just went somewhere and we taked about
it.We decided,to not let it get to us.You can either let it get
to you or you can walk away strong,knowing that your friends
are there with you(those members of your family who are there
for you,too).
I can't tell you what to do,some people don't want to lose those
people who wouldn't except something like this..some people's
mind you can't change...then again if you let time help you,
you may get a surprise and see them come into the light.

....My boyfriend/fiancee,who is italian(not italian-american,he
is from italy and has lived there all his life)came to my
country and met those cousins and aunts(along with my mother
and broth er)and spoiled him rotten...they love him so much
(as I do.)

I am 34 year old college student and I am doing a
research paper on interracial relationships/
marriages. I am taking a stand and saying that
interracial relationships are fine and are just
as healthy and successful as same-race couples.
I'd like to hear from anyone out there who is
involved in an interracial relationship who has
anything to say on the topic. I would also like
to hear from anyone who has biracial children.
and whether or not you agree with bringing children
into a relationship like that.

Hello! I stumbled upon this site while doing some research for my debate. The topic:
Interracial marriages can help strengthen ties between different races. I strongly support
this statement yet I'm debating as the opposition. I was totally at lost when I got this
topic. But the views and personal experiences you people from all over the world related
helped me a lot!!! I was able to study my topic clearly from the wide range of view you
all provided. I may be young (14yrs) but I am certain of my view with regards to
interracial marriages. I think interracial marriages are beautiful. I guess this is the result
of growing up in a multi-racial country. You are in constant contact with other races and
their individual unique cultures are fascinating. Singapore is perhaps one of the best places for interracial
couples to settle down. Couples out there who are constantly bothered by
comments made by racists, ignore them cause true love can withstand
any tests. But just a word of c aution to couples who have fallen out with their family
because of a biracial relationship --- Make all decisions with your head. (A truly clear
mind!) Don't let your emotions get the better of you for some consequences are
devastating.

I do not know if my comments/views have been of any help to you. If my
comments/views made your poor head swirl, I'm so awfully sorry. But since you've come
to the end of my comments/views, there is nothing you can do but just sigh... ...

**If I have offended any of you with my comments, sorry.

Be optimistic and stay happy AlWaYs!!

Felicia

dhfhdfghioudfhgui

The multiracial and biracial population has been growing quadrupaly each 10 years for the last 30 to 40 years.Many predictions tell as that the Multiracials and Asians are going to constitute over 25 and about 30 procent of the American population in the 2050's.
The change, as any one can see is in progress. The change that in my opinion due to the 40% white and 70% white non-acceptence of the Multiracilas is going to be much more radical than in the South and Middle Americas. The indifference of many Others is going to polarize the Multiracials and the rest.
Two conclusions must be drawn :
The first real Multiracial population - creation of a nation within a nation with which after the overturn of the
white man will becomae the heart of the nation, the dominat force, is unavoidable.
The second because of the above as a white man , I ask other whites to support the Multiracial because it is better to be among the winers than the losers.

Well seeming as though i come from a very large racial background all i've ever known is too love everyone. People sometimes seem very confused when they ask to see a picture of my family, and i show them a very multicultered group of people and so many beautiful people of so many shades. Because when you look at me you see a black girl, my friends joke and say she's not black she's mahogany a beautiful shade of brown. And that's what people know until they ask me what are you? And then i tell them and they look at me like what's wrong with your family, and i say nothing we just like to taste every flavor of the world. Lol Normally i date black guys just because that's just happened to be who asked me out. And now currently i'm dating a white young man who is Irish and German, and when people ask me who i'm dating and i tell them most people say oh, only because i say his name not his race. I find it a shame but the african american race around where I live get very offended when they see that he's white , and then the famous question pops up "can't you find a nice black guy?" Now i am the kind of person who feels that they have to defend themselves so i'm constantly having a confrantation on why i am dating Mark. Mark tells me all the time i don't have to defend our relationship because the key word is "our" relationship not anyone elses. And i also find that some people accept my relationship with mark because he happens to have money, as if that matters. They say well at least you've found a "white boy" with money and not some "trailor park trash". And it hurts alot that people can't see my baby for what i see him as a beautiful person who loves me. My bestfriend who is (italian/puertorican) is and currently dating african american man,close friends with my baby. Well all started dating around the same time and all have become very close because we've encountered many situations together where as we all went to the movies and the ticket woman took it apon herself to guess that my boyfriend was with my bestfriend and me with her boyfriend just because of our skin colors. And she felt really bad when she said you two maike a cute couple and pointed to the wrong two people. And my boyfriend decided to be smart and say thank you and then turn around and kiss me. The lady was embarrassed and said I'm sorry and quickly gave us our tickets, and looked at us strangely as we walked away. Things like that upset me, but my boyfriend says that just makes him love me more because we have something special that no-one else understands, and he likes to make people think or give them something to sleep on. So basically i think that people around where i live are more tolerant of white girls w/black guys then the other way around, maybe it's because that's what they see more but i really i don't understand the difference. So i just want to say thankyou for having this discussion forum it really helps to know there are more beautiful relationships going on out there, love truly is not a color
may god be with yo u all, keep love alive
remember: *just run to the arms of the who "Loves You"*
(Mark i love you baby)
Hasta luego
abesos
krissy
Ps. if you would like to talk to me personally my e-mail is
Kristiones@cmpnetmail.com

I am a 27 year old professional, African- American female who has dated outside of my race severla times. I love diversity and diverse men. I am currently single, and searching for a close friendship and possibly more.
I live in Silver Spring, Maryland.

I am looking for (preferably) a bi-racial man (African-American & Caucasian), Indian (who is very Americanized as well as knowledgeable of his heritage), Hispanic (again who is very Americanized as well as knowledgeable of his heritage), or Caucasian man.

I believe that interracial dating is beautiful....and that each person can learn a tremendous amount form one another.

If you are the kind man I described above and would like to chat with me....send me an email!!

TS

I am a 27 year old professional, African- American female who has dated outside of my race severla times. I love diversity and diverse men. I am currently single, and searching for a close friendship and possibly more.
I live in Silver Spring, Maryland.

I am looking for (preferably) a bi-racial man (African-American & Caucasian), Indian (who is very Americanized as well as knowledgeable of his heritage), Hispanic (again who is very Americanized as well as knowledgeable of his heritage), or Caucasian man.

I believe that interracial dating is beautiful....and that each person can learn a tremendous amount form one another.

If you are the kind man I described above and would like to chat with me....send me an email!!

TS

I am a 27 year old professional, African- American female who has dated outside of my race severla times. I love diversity and diverse men. I am currently single, and searching for a close friendship and possibly more.
I live in Silver Spring, Maryland.

I am looking for (preferably) a bi-racial man (African-American & Caucasian), Indian (who is very Americanized as well as knowledgeable of his heritage), Hispanic (again who is very Americanized as well as knowledgeable of his heritage), or Caucasian man.

I believe that interracial dating is beautiful....and that each person can learn a tremendous amount form one another.

If you are the kind man I described above and would like to chat with me....send me an email!!

TS

I am a 27 year old professional, African- American female who has dated outside of my race severla times. I love diversity and diverse men. I am currently single, and searching for a close friendship and possibly more.
I live in Silver Spring, Maryland.

I am looking for (preferably) a bi-racial man (African-American & Caucasian), Indian (who is very Americanized as well as knowledgeable of his heritage), Hispanic (again who is very Americanized as well as knowledgeable of his heritage), or Caucasian man.

I believe that interracial dating is beautiful....and that each person can learn a tremendous amount form one another.

If you are the kind man I described above and would like to chat with me....send me an email!!

TS

I am a 27 year old professional, African- American female who has dated outside of my race severla times. I love diversity and diverse men. I am currently single, and searching for a close friendship and possibly more.
I live in Silver Spring, Maryland.

I am looking for (preferably) a bi-racial man (African-American & Caucasian), Indian (who is very Americanized as well as knowledgeable of his heritage), Hispanic (again who is very Americanized as well as knowledgeable of his heritage), or Caucasian man.

I believe that interracial dating is beautiful....and that each person can learn a tremendous amount form one another.

If you are the kind man I described above and would like to chat with me....send me an email!!

TS

I recently read an article where Tiger Woods said he was only 1/8 BLACK,1/4 this, 1/4 that what I want to know is HOW DOES HE KNOW THAT. I guess I could say that I am a QUADROON (A person of 1/4 black ancestory:the child of a MULATTO and a WHITE person) but HOW DO I KNOW? I am so SICK of everyone making thenselves sound like some sort of RECIPIE BOOK. EVERYONE in AMERICA is mixed, especially BLACKS and LATINOS....so what's the big deal with these so called NEW MIXED PEOPLE. My Family comes from a long line of miscongeneation. I have ancestors that participated in the famous QUADROON BALLS of New Orleans, I even have MIXED(Part BLACK)ancestors that OWNED SLAVES in Haiti, New Orleans, and Cape Verde. If they were mixed back then wouldn't todays BLACKS and HISPANICS be mixed, after all they're the decendants of those PURE and MIXED SLAVES and SLAVE-OWNERS. I know I don't look BLACK, that's probably why I am so PRO-BLACK-AMERICAN....My CAPE VERDEAN family always jokes about how AMERICAN BLACKS are DILUTED and NO T BLACK AT ALL...we don't even now what tribe or part of AFRICA we came from, and this is the truth. If I had a penny for every BLACK person I knew with NATIVE AMERICAN and/or EUROPEAN blood I'd be one of the richest people in the world. MULATTOES don't exists today; a MULATTO is the offspring of a PURE BLACK & PURE WHITE. Most of these MIXED PEOPLE OF AFRICAN DECENT would see that if they studied their BLACK-AMERICAN history they already we mixed before their mom married their dad or visa versa. MY CULTURE IS MIXED FOR ME AND HAS BEEN MIXED FOR 500 or MORE YEARS....I speak a language, CREOLE, that combined the FRENCH & SPANISH & PORTUGUESE of my EUROPEAN ANCESTORS with the AFRICAN & NATIVE AMERICAN TONGUES of my DARKER ANCESTORS...so why do I need a NEW culture..this MIXED RACE THING...MIXED RACE isn't even a culture...all it is is a fasad to group everyone into one catagory...no offense but if you've ever met a CREOLE, we are a proud people...I LOVE MY HERITAGE, so why would I want to be clumped in with som eone who isn't of any AFRICAN DECENT, and doesn't have the same history as I do? BLACK and HISPANIC have been the MOST excepting of all the RACES, if we weren't then we wouldn't have so many different shades of ourselves. I've heard people say that to slove the world's racial problem we should all mix into ONE RACE....NOW I'M NOT PREJUDICE, how could I be, but that's one of the worst ideas I have ever heard...OUR CULTURES AND ETHNIC BACKGROUNDS ARE WHAT MAKES US DIFFERENT....nobody has a house that's all one color inside and out, with the furniture, food, and appliances all the same color...most people like varity, well if everyone is the same then we have no varity....and trust me if we were all the same color someone stupid would start finding ways to make us hate each other...they did it with BLACKS:DARK-SKIN HATES LIGHT-SKIN, KINKY-HAIR HATES STRAIGHT-HAIR.....I like varity. I like being able to go visit my Jewish friend one day, my Irish friend the next, and my Cuban friend the next...

i'm a chinese girl and my boyfriend is an European, we have been together nearly a year, our relationship is fine, but sometimes we do have serious fights. he loves his culture and always protect his own, expecially on the food topic for example, we always come arguments. if he hates this food, he would say it's yucky and criticize on it, sometimes when he doesn't understand our culture, he'll say that's strange... when i hear his criticism on our culture, it hurts, but there's no way to convince him that our culture is also good. He just thinks his own is the best.

well, does anybody have comments on this?

I cannot believe the number of comments that have been made on
this topic my best'est friend in the world is white dating a
black man and it is outragious how many rude heartless individuals
make comments and give dirty looks when the two of them, myself, and
my boyfriend go out to a public place. Not only from whites but also
blacks. That seems to be a common reaction to this type of situation
in Lynchburg, VA. We're all at the point now where we don't even
go out as a group in public anymore because it is not worth the
stress and hardship.

I live in a small town of about 15,360 in Arkansas.
I am a freshman in High School. Most of my peers are friends with people outside their race. Also, they feel that everyone is treated equally at our schools overall. I find this true. They believe that a colored person is just as smart as a white. The same with other colors. Both sides of every color has its trash. That is well understood. Like most bad things, the prejudice we do have hides behind the good. When asked if we would marry someone outside of our race. (irrelavant for me since I don't plan to marry, nor would I really care what their color was if I did.) Most, the majority would not. Old roots run deep. One of my teachers, (white) is fixing to marry a black man. While no one consiously did this, her character suddenly sunk in the eyes of the students. If the parents of my peers don't give up their old ways, make peace. We will have a harder time letting go. In the 1930's you couldn't be friends with someone outside your race...we've come a long way...soon it won't even be a relavant timeless issue, one day we will conquer it. In the Bible it says that one we were all one language. That means we lived together as one culture. Color was irrelavant. If you'll notice there are more mid-brown people in the world than any other color. He split us up into a language barrier so that we wouldn't share our ideas too quickly. What can I say...we're smart. He never mean for us too instill a lie in our selves that one color is better than another. Your blood, your heart will beat and give life to my body. thank you. ...... Mikhail

I live in a small town of about 15,360 in Arkansas.
I am a freshman in High School. Most of my peers are friends with people outside their race. Also, they feel that everyone is treated equally at our schools overall. I find this true. They believe that a colored person is just as smart as a white. The same with other colors. Both sides of every color has its trash. That is well understood. Like most bad things, the prejudice we do have hides behind the good. When asked if we would marry someone outside of our race. (irrelavant for me since I don't plan to marry, nor would I really care what their color was if I did.) Most, the majority would not. Old roots run deep. One of my teachers, (white) is fixing to marry a black man. While no one consiously did this, her character suddenly sunk in the eyes of the students. If the parents of my peers don't give up their old ways, make peace. We will have a harder time letting go. In the 1930's you couldn't be friends with someone outside your race...we've come a long way...soon it won't even be a relavant timeless issue, one day we will conquer it. In the Bible it says that one we were all one language. That means we lived together as one culture. Color was irrelavant. If you'll notice there are more mid-brown people in the world than any other color. He split us up into a language barrier so that we wouldn't share our ideas too quickly. What can I say...we're smart. He never mean for us too instill a lie in our selves that one color is better than another. Your blood, your heart will beat and give life to my body. thank you. ...... Mikhail

We thought that being an interracial couple would be easy & fun. It is, but it has it's up's and down's. We are Seniors in high school and we are looking for bi-racial couples to explain to us and tell us what your life is like.

I need help in locating somone to help me with a problem my
fiance' and myself are having. We were at a restaraunt and experienced terrible service including hair in our food, called names, made to pay for the food that had hair in it
accused of trying to steal the food, cursed at and put out the restaraunt. There were four police officers in the back and they said nothing. I feel we were subject to this treatment because my fiance' is white and I'm black. We do have a way to prove this occured, but we can not get any help.

I need help in locating somone to help me with a problem my
fiance' and myself are having. We were at a restaraunt and experienced terrible service including hair in our food, called names, made to pay for the food that had hair in it
accused of trying to steal the food, cursed at and put out the restaraunt. There were four police officers in the back and they said nothing. I feel we were subject to this treatment because my fiance' is white and I'm black. We do have a way to prove this occured, but we can not get any help.